Image by Sadie Brown
Sat in a cool Mexican bar on a Saturday night, my friend's face was picture of pure horror when I told him I wasn't drinking, and I hadn't touched a drop in nearly two months. Me saying no to the offer of a Margarita is like Kate Middleton swearing - just wrong. But the truth of the matter is, I feel great not drinking. Amazing great, not just 'okay' great, I feel the babies in the Evian adverts. I am reborn anew.
Of course they are plenty of good times to be had on the sauce; who doesn't like dancing like there's no one watching - really like no one's watching, talking shit just because why not, then topping off the night with a trip to the golden arches. It all has its place in the boozy hall of fame, but here is a list of just some of the high points can you enjoy when you're teetotal, if only for a little while.
You'll eat less
Drinking and eating go together like Beyoncé and Jay-Z, so after a few drinks it's inevitable to find yourself longing for carbs or chocolate, or both. You'll do less of that when you don't drink. Plus, you'll have a smug look about you as you reach for that morning smoothie. God, you're amazing.
You'll literally glow
Really. There is a post workout glow, a post sex glow, and a non-drinking glow. They're all pretty cool, and if you're doing all three like me (FINALLY), you'll literally light up the room with your blinding skin, glossy hair and sickening healthy glow. People will envy you, and wonder what is she doing? #Everything
You won't get overly emotional about 'the one'
For me, the one that got away, didn't work out, and flat out didn't want me, always springs to the forefront of my mind in HD after I've had a few, "If only I hadn't have said that," etc. takes me over outta nowhere. It's gone in the morning just as quick, but still, this will never happen if you drink Elderflower cordial instead - good call.
You won't impulse buy online
Post a few glasses of wine at home mid-week you'll decide you need a boost, yes! So you logon in full spending spirit with your credit card poised to blow your not yet deposited salary in a few clicks on anything you really don't need. Those shoes you know can't walk in, a home IPL hair removal system, a holiday, oh not so bad? But you still can't afford it. Don't drink and click.
You won't tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
The ugly truth has a habit of rolling up uninvited via your mouth when drinking. What you really think of your BFF's new boyfriend, how much you detest your boyfriend's favourite pants, and the fact that can hear your flatmate making out with her BF while you're trying to sleep may all slip out and ruin the vibe, night, your life. This will not happen when you reach for a green tea instead, and your life will remain 'perfect'. Peace out.
You'll look stunning at the end of the night
Fresh-as-a-daisy while the room around you is smeared, sweaty and dipping, savvy old you looks like you just arrived. Everything in place, bright eyed and pout perfect. Women want to be you, men want to be with you, and you'll be up first thing in the morning to hit the gym and rule the world, again. Goddamn, you are SO, freaking fine.