04/02/2014 10:06 GMT | Updated 06/04/2014 06:59 BST

Post Paradis, Johnny Depp's Swift Engagement to Amber Heard Is a Cautionary Tale to Women Everywhere...

It seems before we even had time to get used to his split with Vanessa Paradis, 41, movie star Johnny Depp, 50, was parading new girlfriend, actress Amber Heard, 27.

Johnny and Amber met on the set of their 2011 movie The Rum Diary and his 14 year relationship with Vanessa, with whom he has two children Lily-Rose, 14, and Jack, 11, ended a year later.

As Johnny is practically twice Amber's age, this was a midlife crisis more compelling than most of his films. But I was floored by news of their engagement last month and can't imagine how Vanessa must have felt!

As if flaunting her sparkling new engagement ring wasn't enough, on Sunday Amber was photographed taking Lily-Rose on a bonding shopping trip in LA.

Sadly Amber is not old enough to remember Johnny's dating history pre-Paradis. If she was, she'd safely wait until the I dos are exchanged before getting comfortable in the role of beaming step mum.

In the eighties and nineties Johnny had a habit of getting engaged to everyone in Hollywood. There was even a car sticker that read: 'Honk if you've been engaged to Johnny Depp' Past ex fiancées included Twin Peaks actress Sherilyn Fenn, 49, Dirty Dancing star Jennifer Grey, 53, and his Edward Scissorhands co-star Winona Ryder, 42. Long-term partner Vanessa is apparently the only lady love he hasn't proposed to.

With typical French insouciance, Vanessa revealed in a 2008 interview: "I love the romance of "let's get married", but then, when you have it so perfect... I mean, I'm more married than anybody can be - we have two kids."

Two years later Johnny proclaimed: "I never found myself needing that piece of paper. Marriage is really from soul to soul, heart to heart. You don't need somebody to say, okay you're married."

His shock engagement to Amber proves that controversial dating manual, The Rules was onto something when it declared: "A man who says he doesn't believe in marriage is lying. He just doesn't want to get married to you!"

And as Vanessa knows now, having kids doesn't make a man more committed to you.

But I don't envy Amber either. I have a feeling that right now those old car stickers are being reprinted...