08/05/2016 14:32 BST | Updated 09/05/2017 06:12 BST

The Ten Faces of Weaning

It's been a while since we weaned the boy. He's five now and eats pretty well. Even the occasional piece of fruit sneaks in with the beige food.

I do remember with fondness the weaning stage. Especially the faces of weaning.

Face One: The "WTF" face



This is the classic "WTF is THIS?!" face. Expect to see this the first time you give your baby that nasty stuff that masquerades as "rice"

Face Two: The "WTAF" face



This one usually happens when you start to introduce flavour. They've just got used to rice pap, and now you're introducing carrot?!

Face Three: The unfortunate moustache face


This is the one where you share a super cute picture of your baby on social media, only to be informed that he in fact now resembles a mass murdering historical figure...

Face Four: The I-Do-It face


Your baby is a tyrant, and demands to do everything by himself. Behold the self feeding face, which occurs when baby's brain says "spoon, enter mouth" but baby's arm says "Wheee!" and liberally smears baby's entire face/scalp/ears/neck. Very rarely does spoon end up in mouth. Nostril is closest baby will get on first attempt.

Face Five: The Eww Face



This is the face that occurs when your usually happily filthy child decides that their hands MUST be cleaned! Immediately! Then filthied with the self-feeding insistence. Then cleaned. Then filthied. Ad infinitum.

Face six: Look Mummy, a Hat!



Child, this is sacrilege. My spaghetti is far too tasty to be worn as a hat. NB expect yours to end up as a hat too. This face is saved for the messiest food possible.

Face Seven: It Wasn't Me



Well, you didn't give them chocolate! Did you? Ok yes maybe, but he was like 14 months old by then. Be warned, this stuff gets everywhere. Welcome to the days of playing the excellent game of "What's that on your trousers? Is that chocolate or...poo?!"

Face Eight: We Will Fight Them On The Beaches



Also known as the breadstick fag face.

Face Nine: Too Cute To Care



This is when you turn your back leaving your child with a spoon and what you thought was a mostly empty yoghurt pot (you fool). The baby you had deemed incapable of coordinated movement will suddenly develop ninja skills. You'll turn around and it will be everywhere. But look at that face! Awwww!

Face Ten: Baby Biscuit Dilemma Face

Everyone will get one of these. Baby no nap. Baby want biscuit. Baby biscuit dilemma ensues.

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