18/04/2017 12:07 BST | Updated 18/04/2017 12:07 BST

Yep, I Am Definitely A Mother Of Teenagers

Been there, done that and lived to tell the tales of my teen hood! Only my tales of my teen years fall on deaf ears, namely my kids, when I start anything with "when I was a teenager......".

To my kids I am ancient. The songs I sing are sooooo outdated and who the hell is Rick Astley, is he even famous?

Seemingly I have no handle on life, more importantly theirs. I really need to appreciate that life sucks when the wi-fi goes down and even worse, going to school with only 10% on their phone battery. Who knew my forgotten promise of charging their phone overnight could result in the 'worst day ever!'

I am, apparently the lucky one, I don't have to go to school. I get to stay at home and do nothing all day!

However, there are some differences. When I was a teen, not that many moons ago I had a sense of humour and would often talk to my parents rather than at them.

When I was with friends we enjoyed indulging in the art of conversation through opening our mouths and making sounds for hours on end, and all without the aid of mobile phones and social media.

There was no 24/7 in house taxi service. We didn't have the luxury of being ferried around to all places of interest whilst picking up other teens on the way. No, we made our own way and managed it. There was no point complaining, no one listened.

We worked and funded our days out. And for someone who does nothing I do seem to spend a lot of time in my car at petrol stations, filling up just to save my kids walking anywhere!

While I too thought, my parents knew nothing, one thing I did know for sure was that if I was in trouble I knew better than to make matters worse by back-chatting and slamming doors.

Strangely, that doesn't seem to cause any issues with mine. They prefer to stand and argue the toss, believing themselves right, while I find myself justifying why I am telling them off in the first place.

So, all that and more you know you have children, or in this post teenagers when....

  • You ditch Google? and www.ask a teenager.co.uk, they know it all!

  • Their friend's parents aren't strict like you, they let them do everything and go wherever they want.

  • They don't have homework.

  • Everyone is going.

  • Every request is met with "it in a minute"

  • The hall floor is decorated with shoes, bags & jackets, where it drops it stays

  • Every light in the house is on.

  • "Will there be wi-fi there?"

  • There is "never anything nice to eat".

  • Having the cheek to step foot into their bedrooms

  • The laundry basket is never empty.

  • There is always a mess in the kitchen

  • Bedroom floors are for dirty clothes

  • You are not cool, just plain cringy.

  • They are always on their phone

  • Have an inability to load dishwashers

  • They are masters at eye rolling

  • All the other parents don't follow their kids on Instagram

  • You get answered by a mumble

  • Cupboards doors are all open

  • The bathroom floor is for wet towels

  • The bathwater is left in the bath

  • They get instantly annoyed from the sound of your voice

  • They shout 'what do you want' and 'get the hell out' a lot

  • Always happy if things are going their way

  • You know all the latest songs

  • They love to hoard all cups, plates and cutlery in their bedrooms

  • It was your choice to have children, deal with it.

  • The house is full of attitude.

  • Your newly purchased expensive makeup has disappeared

  • Doors don't get closed, they get slammed shut.

  • Nothing is fair.

  • They ALWAYS have the last word

Relate to any?

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