26/06/2014 10:31 BST | Updated 25/08/2014 06:59 BST

The Perfect Female Celebrity Body Will Scare the Bejeezus Out of You

We have come so far, ladies. If, by so far, you mean a few steps down the block.

E Online News conducted a reader's poll and discovered what our favorite celebrity body parts were and then cut and pasted those parts together to create a Franken-Celebrity for us.

"Last week we conducted an online poll that allowed you to select from a list of celebrities and their body parts in order to create the "perfect female celeb" and now here are your picks! Take a look at the amazing results!"

What with their exclamation point, I'm thinking the editors are very proud of their celebrity doll that they created. Unfortunately, the results they boast are, in fact, quite terrifying.

Leaving aside the obvious, women are more than their body parts--yes, even celebrities--the caricature that was created looks like my first-grader got a hold of my Photoshop. Actually, come to think about it, my kids' magazine collages are much more attractive than the scary celebrity-creature.

Thankfully, the reader comments all tend toward the what were you thinking by writing this article?!

And as it turns out, the piece is actually a mere advertisement for E's latest show: Tune-in to the series premiere of Botched this Tuesday, June 24 at 9/8c!

The new reality show is all about fixing bad plastic surgery.

"I know you've had a bad experience," Dr. Dubrow tells Alica. "We don't want to be a part of that bad experience. We are combining our forces to do what we do the best."

Will the doctors be able to fix Alicia's botched boob job so that she can wear a bikini with confidence again? Watch the above clip to find out!

So, I guess the actual regular plastic surgery shows are no longer enough; we now have to have a show about fixing the mistakes made the first go-around. Does anyone else not notice the irony here?

We pick apart celebrities who arguably have the "best" bodies in town already and try to piece them together to make something better?

Then we watch as women try to correct the errors made while being cut up and put together again--just like this celebrity-body-mash-up?

When are we going to notice that this cutting up and putting back together again is not the answer to happiness? That oftentimes, even after people have plastic surgery, they are not happy with the results and quickly have buyer's remorse?

Actually, now that I think of it, maybe Botched will have a positive effect on society. Perhaps if potential plastic surgery clientele stumble upon this show, they will think twice before going under the knife. Perhaps they will reconsider the beauty inherent in their own natural features.

Or, maybe they will say, well, at least if something goes wrong, I can still get on TV!