14/09/2017 11:58 BST | Updated 14/09/2017 11:58 BST

Let Children Just Be Children


I've been watching the news and discussions on the child that wants to be known as a girl and wear a dress to school and how one set of parents have taken their child out of that school because it has made their own children anxious and upset. 

My son doesn't like to dress up, I struggle to get him to put a pirate hat on, in fact he'd wear his pyjamas all day if I let him. The one day he did dress up he popped a flamenco dress on, so what?  There's a little boy at nursery who loves to wear the princess dress when they play dress up, no one takes any notice and my son certainly doesn't question it. They are just children. 

If I picked up Rocco from nursery and there was a boy in a dress and Rocco told me that was 'Daisy', then I wouldn't question it. In fact I don't think I would even ask nursery for an explanation. It has nothing to do with me what another child wears or is called.

I'm sure some of the parents question our choice of name and judge us on Rocco's choice of clothes on a daily basis! He sometimes wears a Ralph Lauren 'best' shirt that he's about to grow out of that has been hung in the wardrobe or a t shirt already stained by spaghetti.

At that age, gender identity is innocent, if the child was scared by another child experimenting to find their identity then maybe the conversation needs to start at home. 

If Rocco did ask me why is 'David' now 'Daisy' I would try and explain that David liked dresses rather than trousers and liked the name Daisy. I don't think it needs any more explanation than that. Does it? If it started causing lots of questions from my son then I would research how best to explain it.

I certainly wouldn't put my own child through the upheaval of moving him out of that nursery because of a choice another child and family have made. I believe I would act in the same way as I would hope other parents would react if it was my son. 

Surely moving a child out of school would open up more questions? I'm not saying it should be ignored but making a 'thing' out of a situation like this can't be beneficial. The child in question has made a decision to wear a dress, the child made that decision himself. Surely the school friends should be allowed to make their own decision about how they feel. If at all.

My son is no saint at nursery, he can be boisterous and he doesn't listen all the time, sometimes I imagine other parents being told Rocco may have led their child astray that day. All kids are different, they all have their individual quirks some will come and go throughout their childhood, some will stay with them.

I feel like we indoctrinate our kids enough by them just watching the way we go about our lives. I worry about standing on the scales in front of my son as I don't want him to even know what they are for, we don't talk or draw attention to weight, colour, gender, size etc. I don't want my views to be inflicted on him, I want him to make his own judgements. In fact I don't want him to judge anyone. 

It's hard enough bringing children in to this world, constantly questioning the way you bring them up without us starting to question how other people are bringing up their own children. If it doesn't directly effect you, then ignore it.

I want to bring my son up in a way that he does not judge people's decisions. If he questions, I will help him answer them. When there are children involved I won't judge or react in a hastily fashion, it could effect everyone involved.

I will remember they are children where decisions and actions that are made around them now, may stay with them and set them on their path to being an adult. We need good, kind adults in this world.

More today than ever before.

Picture is Authors own