10 Top Tips For Using A Penis Beaker

09/10/2013 17:19 | Updated 16 October 2013

It's the hot Twitter topic of the day - thanks to this thread on Mumsnet. So here's our handy guide to using a penis beaker:

  • 1 Find a penis beaker that suits the size and shape of your penis
  • 2 If your penis is the size of a pipette, for example, a small thin one like this might be suitable
  • 3 Always wear a hard hat and safety goggles when using a penis beaker
  • 4 Using a penis beaker can be a wonderful thing to share with your partner after love-making
  • 5 They can even be used after threesomes!
  • 6 If the contents of your penis beaker are pink, you're expecting a girl
  • 7 If they're blue, you're expecting a boy
  • 8 If they're this colour, you've been drinking too much Sauvignon Blanc
  • 9 If they're this colour, see your doctor as soon as possible
  • 10 But be warned: If you use a penis beaker, people might just think you're a bit of a cock


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