10 Top Tips For Using A Penis Beaker

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It's the hot Twitter topic of the day - thanks to this thread on Mumsnet. So here's our handy guide to using a penis beaker:

  • 1
    Find a penis beaker that suits the size and shape of your penis
  • 2
    If your penis is the size of a pipette, for example, a small thin one like this might be suitable
  • 3
    Always wear a hard hat and safety goggles when using a penis beaker
  • 4
    Using a penis beaker can be a wonderful thing to share with your partner after love-making
  • 5
    They can even be used after threesomes!
  • 6
    If the contents of your penis beaker are pink, you're expecting a girl
  • 7
    If they're blue, you're expecting a boy
  • 8
    If they're this colour, you've been drinking too much Sauvignon Blanc
  • 9
    If they're this colour, see your doctor as soon as possible
  • 10
    But be warned: If you use a penis beaker, people might just think you're a bit of a cock
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