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Three Very Simple Things You Can Do to Build Confidence

17/02/2014 13:19 GMT | Updated 19/04/2014 10:59 BST

Confidence is the key to improving our performance in the work force and to creating and maintaining healthy relationships.

When we build our confidence we become powerful, engaging and inspiring because we are at ease with ourselves.

Old habits become embedded in our subconscious mind and intrude on our life, so when this happens we need to raise the rent and boot them out.

The root cause of low confidence and low self- esteem is insufficient self- love. We must develop a positive self - efficacy which will motivate us to take action, make changes and stay resilient when we face set- backs.

As confidence is the key to success in every area of our lives, always remember our perception of ourselves has an enormous impact on how others perceive us. If we are not confident, how can we thrive? Sure, we don't all want to be a worldwide leader, a millionaire, or a high profile entrepreneur, but here's the thing when we have confidence we become a leader in our own world as it determines how many of our goals we achieve.

3 Very Simple Things You Can Do To Build Confidence.

Step 1 - Create A Success Journal

List all achievements, (however small.) What do you feel proud of - your kindness, your wisdom, your children, your body, facing an issue head on, being honest with someone, setting a boundary, supporting a friend, passing an exam, writing a book, being a good neighbor, friends, mother, sibling? Dispel all irrational beliefs and dirty lies your head tells that you that you are not good enough.

Carry your success journal with you at all times. Focus each day on 1 thing that makes you feel good about yourself. Remember daily rituals can either build confidence or erode confidence.

Step 2 - Create A Mantra

'I can' 'I will'. Repeat this constantly each day and feel it, sense, it, step into it, especially when someone upsets you or something does not go the way you want it to.

Take a sheet of paper and add a margin across the top and a margin down the left hand side. In the margin across the top write I CAN & I WILL. Then in the middle of the page write what it is - It could be taking one small action towards your dream or making a decision, or visualizing your goal or confronting someone tricky, or losing weight. Then on the left hand side, write out what your payoff is for not doing it or not having done it before now.

List 1 action you will take - E.G pray, meditate, chant, bookend an action with a buddy,affirm 'I am willing to change' 'I am perfectly imperfect'.

Then deactivate the internal negative voice before you go to sleep. Imagine a heater or machine with control buttons 0 -10 inside your brain and turn it down to 0.

Step 3 - Create Emotional Sound Control and Confront Others

We must value ourselves and not allow anyone to disrespect us. The cost of not standing up for ourselves comes at a high price. Whenever we neglect ourselves by not asking for what we want and need, or we don't confront others who are ridiculing us and/or being unkind we erode our self -respect, self -confidence, self -belief and self -esteem.

Do not minimize, alter and deny someone's behavior if it's unacceptable in any way. Brave it and say 'It is disrespectful to speak over me' or 'You may think it is cool to speak to me like that, but I don't' 'I do not tolerate anyone laughing at me and speaking to me in such an unkind manner'

A) Be direct. B) Be honest C) Be calm. D) Be specific. E) Be objective. F) Practice, prepare plan what you want to say G) Have direct eye contact H) Keep your tone neutral.

If the other person continues to be aggressive or offensive say 'I am happy to hear what you have to say, but not whilst you speak to me in that tone' or 'If you continue to speak over me, I will walk away'.

Building confidence means having the courage to behave in a calm, sound, rational conway and glide towards a goal or an action with a sense of purpose, believing you are worth it.

You can be a President or a Student ; everything improves in your wealth, health, family, work life, and personal relationships when you build your confidence. Always remember empowerment comes from you remembering each day to believe in yourself.