To End In-Party Squabbling, Here's My 'Tongue-in-cheek' Election Reform

30/06/2016 14:13 | Updated 30 June 2016

Apply like the rest of us apply for jobs.

The deadline for a new PM is September 8th which is 10 weeks away. Unfortunately, none of you are allowed to take holiday whilst this is ongoing even if the House is in Recess. In the real world, this happens all the time - as anyone who's worked in a service industry and worked Christmas Day will tell you.

Step 1. The Pre-screening
Give us your CV, including and grades associated with recognised education (university, A-levels, O-Levels, IB, GCSEs, etc..) and a cover letter about your values and why you want the top job.

Step 2. The Interview (2 Weeks)
You have one week to organise to be interviewed by as many voters as possible, be they news anchors, comedians, bloggers, vloggers, influential business people, journalists, some people down the pub, Facebook, pop singers, vicars - whoever! One week to submit as many short (up to 10min) interviews as possible on your campaign page. Be authentic and challenging yourself - we don't always want to see you having an easy ride being interviewed by people who support you. Occasionally, we need to see you squirm and think in your feet. We can tell when you're not.

Step 3. The Consideration (2 Weeks)
You then have a further week to campaign before a week's silence whilst the nation discusses and debates. Voters can have a chance to seek more clarification from certain things you have said or ask for sources to your claims - we advise you respond adequately if you want to remain in the process. Again via short videos please. Most of us have very short attention spans for politics right now.

Step 4. First Round (Voting Day)
We will then take to the polls and democratically select the leader of the party to which we have paid to participate in and we can vote for a leader of the opposition. Our votes for leader of the opposition are advisory of course. For those of us who are centre ground (i.e. not far-right or far-left), the best strategy is a strong leader and strong competitor so as to harness the strengths from both sides of the political spectrum.

Step 5. Second Round (1 week then Second Voting Day)
Each side sees the results of the first round complete with suggested leader of the opposition. One week goes by for more deliberations. This gives us all a chance to have a nice cup of tea and a chat. A bit like a Countdown Teaser. Then we take to the polls again for the final vote for our chosen party's leader.

We also then vote for a party - to win a hands down majority you must secure over 50% of the vote - bear in mind the other parties have come back into play. After this round we have a prime minister !! But wait..

We also vote for a party to be the leader of the opposition. If another smaller party gets more than 50% of the votes, then their leader becomes leader of the opposition.

This is meant as a tongue-in-cheek article.