Jimmy Kimmel set the tone for the 2017 Oscars ceremony in style on Sunday (26 February) night, with some light celebrity roasting and - obviously - plenty of comments about diversity and President Donald Trump.
The host’s opening piece is their chance to set the tone for the evening, and late night show host Jimmy had a lot to live up to after Jimmy Fallon’s Golden Globes’ efforts, which included the ‘Stranger Things’ kids rapping and Barb coming back from the dead.
This is the Academy Awards though, so Kimmel shunned the OTT theatrics and ensemble cast, going it alone with a monologue that began with talk about how the United States is currently “divided”, and ended with calls for a certain overrated actress to get a standing ovation.
Here are all of his best lines...
On the current state of the USA:
“I’ve been getting a lot of advice, people have said you need to say something to unite us,” he said. “But there’s only one braveheart in this room, and he’s not going to unite us either.
“I am not the man to unite this country but it can be done.
“If every one of you watching reached out to one person you don’t agree with and had a conversation - not as liberals or conservatives - we could make a real difference.”
Gently roasting Matt Damon:
“When we met I was the fat one. But this year, he handed an Oscar-worthy part to his childhood friend and made a Chinese ponytail movie instead.”
And Andrew Garfield:
“You can barely even see him he got so thin! he lost 40 pounds for his latest role, a feat which hasn’t been attempted since every actress in every role ever.”
On Trump and Diversity:
“I want to say thank you to President Trump - remember last year when it seemed like the Oscars were racist? Black people saved NASA and white people saved jazz - that’s what you call progress.”
This Moonlight comment (which drew actual gasps):
“The only happy ending was the one in the middle of Moonlight… you didn’t watch it did you?”
On Meryl Streep:
“She has stood the test of time for her many uninspiring and overrated performances. Meryl Streep has phoned it in for over 50 films during her career.
“Nice dress by the way, is that an Ivanka?”