Do those guys really want all that stuff? They've probably got the best vibrators money can buy, boobs to die for and been on all the top walking tours already. Also another goody bag? Just add it to the super massive, awards season pile.
Why is there a huge reservoir of films based on books but rarely, if ever, an original movie that is subsequently turned into a novel? You may find a film-jacket edition on the shelves but never an original work. Books provide filmmakers with a solid foundation from which to start, and sometimes a track record of sales that suggests a ready-made audience.
Normally I stay for the quotes, the pop culture, the film techniques and references. Now I want to rewatch it for the character and plot development; even if it amounts to nothing more than a Western tinged big screen adaptation of Cluedo. But will fans of Tarantino applaud it? I doubt it...
Over the past two years, no black actors or actresses have been nominated for Oscars. And over the past decade there has only been 18 black nominees, which amounts to just 9 percent of all acting nominees.
How does cinema follow a year like 2015? A year when three of the top 10 biggest films of all time in the UK were released, including two of the top three. It was a year that also saw the release of the third biggest animated film in history (Minions), and the summer's best blockbuster, Mad Max: Fury Road, just snagged 10 Oscar nominations.
In the midst of the 'Oscars Diversity Debate' sides are being taken and opinions are being voiced. I won't be covering the contents of the debate, or making any statement about it in any specific way, but rather I want to talk about talking about it.
President Barack Obama had just weighed in on the debate over the #Oscarssowhite Twitter campaign, saying that Hollywood needed to make sure that everyone had a chance. Equality of opportunity is, after all, one of the principles America was founded on. Nominated for an honorary award, director Spike Lee has said he won't be attending. Neither will Jada Pinkett Smith. I wonder how many others will choose to sit this one out?
If you tipped your head in the right direction on Monday evening you probably heard a whoosh of applause coming all the way from the Eccles Theatre at this year's Sundance Festival, where the first of three standing ovations greeted the premiere screening of The Birth of a Nation.
The tradition of watching minorities being ignored at the Academy Awards is as familiar as eating that tired stale fruit cake every Christmas. Hard, old and annual. I am not just talking about black people. I am talking about women, the disabled and other ethnic minorities too.
For me this year, the Oscars controversy has struck a very personal chord, not because I am any more interested in what goes on in Hollywood than I was last year. But rather, because my 4 year old daughter came home saying last week that she wants white skin.
Whenever an African American wins an award it is viewed by the African American community as historic, and that is fair enough; the Oscar is routinely mistaken for cinema's highest honour. The academy, like the Hollywood system, is deeply discouraging to black American talent, and to a disturbing extent. The awards are few; decades pass between them. Hattie McDaniel won for her portrayal of a maid. Whoopi Goldberg for her portrayal of a con woman.
During my showbiz writing days one of the nicest things about interviewing British actors was how down to earth and normal they seemed compared to man...
It is a comprehensively gory film that embraces violence and brutality like American Pie embraces sex jokes. The problem is that because the violence is so front and centre the film has been, in my view at least, misconceived in its intentions by many who have seen it.
For the second year in a row, there are will be no black, Asian or minority ethnic actors that win an Oscar - because the 20-strong list of nominees in 2016 is entirely white.
Red carpets in Hollywood are insane. They certainly like to fill them up with as many media outlets as they can. The Bafta Tea party is a pretty tame one compared with some that I've been to. At times you feel like sardines.
Despite enduring the inane first half, it did grow on me. When Joy gets invited to present and sell her product on QVC thanks to Neil Walker (Bradley Cooper) we see more emotion because of the payoff aaand suddenly the plot takes off because, hey, this is what we wanted to watch! Then I remembered... WHY IS THIS ONLY HAPPENING HALFWAY THROUGH THE BLOODY FILM??