THE BLOG

We Are NOT Sheep: Why It's Cool to Be Out of the Herd

13/11/2015 10:29 GMT | Updated 12/11/2016 10:12 GMT

In the social age, things get cool really, REALLY quickly. One tweet from a c-list celeb and food, shows, songs and looks, even phrases, can suddenly be everything.

Woe betide those who speak out against these frenzied loves though - a lifetime of being a pariah awaits. Or something.

I say no more! We have the right to loathe anything we like, even if everyone else insists its ace. Here are a few suggestions of REALLY POPULAR THINGS it's ok to choose to ignore, reject or even outright hate, no matter what the 'too cool for school' crew insist to the contrary.

Avocado

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image from Shutterstock

Green, gooey and apparently great with everything. Hipsters delight in its health-bestowing miraculousness, Instagrammers spend hours perfecting one of the 2,878,579 shots of it currently listed, and fitness freaks bestow honours on its nubby little head because of its good fats.

Even Queen Nigella created a 'recipe' for it on toast!

Me? I hate it. It tastes like snot and I prefer butter and marmite on my tiger loaf cheers. Knob off nose fruit. Bleurgh.

Manbuns

It might be the most searched for beauty term on Google this year, but it's also ridiculous.

If I throw my hair in a bun my friends know I have barely made it out of the house dressed. It is not a style statement, it is an excuse to hide greasy roots.

Stop it and go to the barbers. Or learn to French pleat it and make yourself useful. Sniff.

Sad Christmas Adverts

I was (and still am) obsessed with the snowman advert of 2012. I delighted in the bunny ad in 2013 and I demanded penguins for Christmas last year. I LOVE the John Lewis adverts and look forward to feeling all the feels every November. This year? Fail.

Call me mean, but would you really buy your little girl a telescope and go to all the trouble of landing it on the moon, so the creepy old man really far away can stare back at her?

Why are John Lewis so keen to make us cry? Why be sad at Christmas - is that really the only way to remind us to take care of our elderly? I hear all their gumpf about remembering the true spirit of Christmas. They're a brand, to them that means the best sales quarter of the year.

If multi-billion retailers wish to remind us of the morality of Christmas perhaps they could finish their ads with a way to donate, rather than a way to buy more tat we don't need? Just a thought.

N.B. 'Mog's Christmas Calamity' for Sainsbury's has just been released. Point. Made.

Adele's New Song

Ahhhhh, Adele. Hours I spent Bridget Jones'ing my way through 21. I was SO looking forward to her new stuff. At first listen I adored it. The gravelly tones, the haunting melody. The weekend and a post-wine weep beckoned. Then I listened to the words.

I know she SAYS it is about reconnecting with herself. We all hear it as 'that bloke we should really have forgotten about by now'.

Phoning someone a million times even though they don't call back? Desperately trying to say sorry to someone who is so happy now that they don't actually remember you?

With that attitude love, you are well on your way to saying 'hello' to a restraining order. Delete his number, buy yourself a nice smartphone and for god sake stop calling the man.

Oh and Adele - you are beautiful, gifted, and loved by millions. So cheer up a bit dearie. Party album next?

Poppy Shaming

Nothing has caused more of a fuss these past few weeks then those daring not to wear a poppy.

Sienna Miller, Jeremy Corbyn and many others have all faced trial-by-media for not donning the red symbol, all for different reasons. Finger pointing, name calling and social-shaming followed.

If you choose not to put it on, you may as well switch to parading a badge that says 'on my way to join ISIS'.

My father was in the army for 17 years. I wear my poppy with pride and understand people's passion for what the poppy represents. But in trying to force everyone to do it under some pretence of morality we prostitute the very values our ancestors sought to preserve. The freedom and right to choose our beliefs.

You may not agree with it, but that's ok. We live in a society where you don't have to - respect and tolerance should be the true legacy of their sacrifice, not a bullying culture perpetuated by right wing dogma.

Weird Beauty Trends

Ton-touring, baking, strobing, clown facing..... There have been no shortage of weird beauty trends we simply 'have' to do.

Memo to all the 'MUA's' out there. Those techniques are not new. They are rooted in stage makeup. They are not appropriate for daytime use. Even by drag queens and Kim K.

And even if they don't look really odd on white women in daylight, practicality suggests that they won't offer solutions for most of us long-term. I barely make it out the door in the morning without needing to remove sleep from eyes. A full resurfacing and paint job before 8 a.m.? No ta. Hand me the shades.

I have a whole list of others (hello bacon-shamers) but the point is, it's ok to go against the herd. You can love, or loathe anything you like - it's our differences that make us interesting after all.

Repeat after me - you are not a sheep.