My anxiety took the form of depression, stress, stomach problems, regular colds and flu, procrastination, near panic attacks, not sleeping or eating properly and loneliness because I was keeping myself away from my friends so I didn't have to talk about my life.
It was World Mental Health Day on Monday, and it has opened up a dialogue about a subject that just doesn't seem to be talked about nearly enough. ...
"The restraint of the modification of the mindstuff is yoga"... Huh? I hear you say... Well what this comes down to is working towards stillness in the mind. This is what I want to help you with today
Having had a challenging experience during, and after the birth of my first child in April 2015, I have decided to write a blog about my second experience, detailing the highs and potential lows along the way. I'm having another section, (planned) as my son's birth resulted in an emergency section
I shake their hand but I can't remember their name because I'm too busy going through escape options in my head. I'm thinking about hiding behind the plant, wondering if I would survive a leap out of the second floor window, and fantasising about a zombie invasion that would break this party up.
When you are feeling happy, whole and connected you are in balance and harmony prevails, but when you omit to access some aspects of yourself, you may begin to feel restless, uneasy or even anxious. If you ignore this feeling, yes I've said it again the 'f' word; FEELING, you fuel the anxiety so it grows until it renders you hopeless, scared and devoid of all purpose.
We all have voices in our head. Rather than suppressing them and keeping them quiet, Beyond the Ridiculous bring them out to play. Last Sunday even...
Getting them to talk about their problems is the first step to actually solving them. Who knows - maybe they've been waiting for the day for someone to genuinely want to know how they are doing. Even the most hardy of us long for human compassion once in awhile.
Poor mental health is something I have struggled with for a long time; now in my final year at University and preparing to enter the "real world", I would like to be in a far stronger place than I am. I'm depressed, anxious, and have a difficultly complex relationship with my eating, food and weight. This is nothing new.
Countless numbers of people worldwide suffer with some kind of mental health problem; roughly one in four. However there is a notable but hidden disparity between male and female sufferers.
Feel anxious, eat healthy food, worry about money, repeat. Not very catchy, I know, but this little mantra provides an accurate summary of my life at the moment. Let me explain. I recently come to the realisation that I deal with my anxiety by spending copious amounts of money on superfoods, a habit which in turn generates its own financial anxieties.
The depiction that I like to use to describe the way neurosis or anxiety or panic feels is like a psychological fantasy that the shadow of Godzilla is approaching from around the corner and all we hear are the footsteps. Thump, thump goes our heart.
The funny thing is people often tell me I'm brave for moving to a different country on my own. But I don't feel brave. Being so trapped within myself robs me of any courage I might have had otherwise. I know that ultimately I'm the only one with the key to release myself... and what a liberating day it will be when I do.
Sleep has been disrupted, exercise classes have been avoided, I would rather stick pins in my eyes than have to be social ... Everyday things as simple as merely making beans on toast have just seemed a lot harder to deal with.
We need to talk about Mental Health but we also need the Government to address this very stark and real crisis that is unfolding in front of our eyes. A sticking plaster is not sufficient and it never will be.
But then I watched a TED Talk by Professor Brian Little, who flung up the exciting revelation that I'm not alone, and there is in fact a reason for my seemingly loopy behaviour. And it has nothing to do with a subconscious need to be around porcelain cisterns.