Around the time my little baby was born I was getting quite bad chest pains so much so that we called the non emergency number as it was around 7pm. There was an ambulance at the door within 10 minutes to check me over. The pain had already reduced by the time they arrived and I didn't need to go to hospital (I think it was just stress).
For the first 6 months or so I was pretty much redundant when it came to feeding Littlest View From a Daddy. With Mrs VFAD nursing our newest addition, it meant that I needed to take on other key roles that are essential when a little human arrives in the house: changing nappies, getting the washing sorted, taking charge of the family meals etc.
It's a lot of things to miss about being with M all the time, and I guess it's a kind of grief that I'm experiencing. Mourning my maternity leave. But then, I'm so very grateful, that I have those things to miss. That I have been blessed with the opportunity to be a mummy, and to spend 9 blissful months with my girl.
The words ring in your ears. Everything around you slows down and blurs. The words feel heavy on your skin as they sink in. You can feel your heart beating fast and loud and your chest begins to hurt. Your eyes swim with tears. You feel a slow numbness creep up your body from your toes, until you can't feel yourself anymore. You're hot and numb.
When I was waiting for my miracle baby, I was desperate to be a mUmmy. It was a real biological need to have a child. My friends had already started their families and being with their children and my nieces and nephews cemented my belief that I would enjoy being a mummy, but I had no idea that I'd love it this much!