As I am writing this now, I couldn't be more confident. I never thought I'd arrive at this stage because all my life, I suffered with crippling social anxiety. To overcome it, was something I'd always wished for but never thought I'd be able to. I am surprised that recently, people tell me that I seem bubbly and perky. That was never me in the past.
Part of me is scared of it because, shit, how do I keep it going? What happens with that extra pressure? And what if it all crumbles around me and all I'm left with is a broken heart and a reclamation notice for my shiny new speedboat? And then part of me wants it because, shit, what's the alternative? To not be successful?
Women have shed some of the shackles of inequality, only to be bound my new ones of image obsession. Yet the investment is disproportionately high compared to their interests and desires. They claim that their confidence drops by 80% on reading a magazine and 60% feel that glam selfies make them feel bag.
Confidence is something that is much harder to see - at first anyway. It's nestled inside us, and even when it's hibernating and seemingly nowhere to be seen: it's there. The trick is nudging it awake and allowing it to be the driving force that gets us to do the things we want to do but feel a little (or a lot) afraid to do.
With hindsight I can see that I had little to worry about regarding Fresher's Week and adapting to university style learning. But as a sixth form student with no family who had been to university, my fears surrounding how I would fit in grew considerably. If you happen to be in a similar situation, I hope that this article goes at least a small way to minimising your concerns.
One of the reasons I lack confidence in many situations is feeling like an imposter. Like I'm a total fake: just waiting to be found out. Whether it was when I was in my first job (junior web designer), with no real experience in web design other than my own experiments in Dreamweaver (more like Nightmare weaver...)
For many years I believed that I wasn't a very confident person. This was mainly based on the idea that I had of what confidence was. From school onwards we are taught that to be confident is to be the child that always puts their hand up in class, the one that volunteers to read the next chapter out loud in English lesson, or takes the lead in group activities.