If there is one thing I've learned in all my years as a makeup artist and entrepreneur, it's that many women forget they deserve time. They'll do whatever it takes to build careers, bring up families and be good friends, but their own needs take a backseat. "I don't need time," they'll say. "I'm fine."
As you will know if you're over sixty, the lips lose definition, the eyebrows become sparse, the eyes look smaller and our confidence corkscrews. Well, listen up soon to be glamour pusses, I've found a hassle free alternative to applying eyebrow pencil, eyeliner and lip-liner every day. It's called micro-pigmentation cosmetic tattooing. And at seventy, I'm loving it.
Fake it until you make it - you might feel like you're going to throw up but think like an actress who is playing a part and go for it. Faking confidence actually makes you feel more confident and the more you do something, the less scary it seems. It also has the added benefit of meaning you'll get the job done!
Pick up a women's or men's magazine and the dominant features will be appearance, nutrition, fitness, work, sex and romance. We want to be strong, fit, healthy and attractive and enjoy our work and love life. We want them and expect them to go right, but we can be in for disappointments when they don't go according to plan. We need a Plan B: a fit mind to back us up.
The Fight or Flight fear is the one that we are able to recognise all too easily. Examples are - the fear of deep water or heights. This is the fear that protect you from 'harm' - it's your survival instinct. The warning signs are, tightening of the chest, quickening of the breath and that sense of panic.
I just got back from the local pub quiz with my friend Hannah and we came sixth!! That never happens to me - we won a vinyl that cost the quiz master 50p (they left the price on) and we also won a packet of ginger nut biscuits (which has been torture as I am doing the 5:2 diet and today is a two day, which means NO GINGER NUTS).
Belief gets a bad rap. It's a very unpopular concept in these secular times, but the (obvious) thing is: we believe things whether we want want to or not. If we can at least accept that's true, we can start to take control of our beliefs, and make them work for us. But accepting they exist is the big first step.
This is one of the questions I'm most frequently asked as a coach and therapist. Self-confidence can be a difficult concept to pin down, yet we always know when we don't have enough of it. When we lose (or never develop) belief in ourselves, it can seem impossible to improve. But, as ever, it's wise to not believe everything you think!