Until this point you might have had a ready-made social life. You may have been a couple hanging out with other couples. Suddenly that social scene turns upside down. You might feel that you don't 'fit in' so well, as the talk still revolves around what to do as a pair. You may feel ready to re-assess your life and decide what route you alone would like to take.
My husband isn't my best mate - I already have one, and had one long before we met. I'm not going to ask him for dress advice (he's a punk rocker and until I shave my head we'll probably never see eye to eye), and I understand that when I'm sick, although he'll do his best to look after me, it won't be the same as a cuddle from my mum.
Whatever conclusions we draw of the other woman it is not where our focus needs to be. It's a fruitless and painful exercise with no positive outcome. What has happened is already done. We have to hold our heads high and realise that we have a life to live.
I don't know why this is. I don't know why divorce still ends up defining who you are while in reality it's a journey, an experience you have been through - it's not you, it's something that happened. Just like being laid off is something that you once went through at some point in your life.
Marrying someone until death do us part purely on the basis of true love is a charming idea. But I choose not to marry, not because I disagree with the institution per se but more that I am realistic about the chances of survival when a married is based on 'love' alone.
When Princess Diana was going through her divorce and her settlement was made public (I believe it was in the millions of pounds) there was a radio discussion going on and people where calling into lamenting that the settlement was too much and saying that she needs to get a grip on reality.
Victims will often protect their abusers in public for fear of any repercussions at home. They will act the loving couple so that nobody suspects and even to convince themselves that things are not as bad as they are. It is often only when the abuse has gone too far and there is no way back that the victim will confide in a close friend or family member.
In the light of the Leveson hacking inquiry, the issue of safeguarding the individual's privacy has been found to be paramount. Whilst there have been few prosecutions arising from "relationship hacking" in divorce or relationship breakdown, this is certainly set to change.
Wedding bells are on their way out - we mere mortals should expect to hear just a faint tingle of their quaint ding-dong. Yet I, along with many others, will be donning a white dress and saying 'I do' in just under a year's time. So why, quite frankly, do we bother?
Whilst we often hear about unusual cases that come before the Court of unreasonable behaviour, the above are the most common reasons quoted. Each one of them potentially being the straw that breaks the camel's back and forcing one of the parties into a solicitors' office.
Many divorcing parents struggle to identify the best approach for the children. It is a roller coaster at the best of times and when you throw children into the mix it becomes a minefield of emotional management.
There is a lot of focus on the outcome of the referendum in Scotland next week. What most people don't seem to realize is that whatever the outcome it is already over between Scotland and the rest of the UK. It was over the moment that Scotland decided it might want to leave.
When I lived for ten years with my children's father we had three children, and when the relationship abruptly ended, the phrase: "Well it's the same as being married" - proved to be a lie. You can tell yourself that while you are together, but don't be foolish enough to think it's the same when you are splitting up.
As he sobbed on my shoulder over losing his recent girlfriend whilst our relationship - the one I had thought was 'until death do us part' - had been tossed aside without a single visible tear, I contemplated a terrifying future with no home, a career long past, becoming a single parent and worst of all, I was about to turn 40 that year.
There are all warning signs that you need to STOP and FOCUS on your marriage. It will not fix itself. You need to take time out if you want to avoid things getting worse. If you leave them too long then you will head towards what I call the "switch flicking moment". This is the point of no return when something just changes and you no longer feel that attraction to your partner.
In this second of a short series of articles, I explore how family arbitration could provide an element of psychological security on the bumpy road of...