Even though it might sound like a contradiction in terms, change has been one of the few constants in British family life over the last few decades.
I recall the day my former husband moved out of our home. Over 3 months ago now. I spent a large portion of the day in tears. I was beside myself. That's a funny term. Being beside ourself. I guess because sadness is not our true state.
There are other steps that can be taken to reduce the burden on the court system and help reduce conflict between separating couples, not least by making the divorce process less complex or confrontational by introducing no-fault divorce or making pre-nuptial agreements binding. But removing access to legal advice and providing minimal support will help solve neither.
Mediation involves couples holding discussions, led by a trained mediator, to reach agreements out of court, which can then be made legally binding and enforceable by a court order. It's long been a favourable option for couples who are willing, and able, to reach an agreement without discussions becoming clouded by emotion.
Emotional affairs do not necessarily include sex and can even occur over the Internet between two people who have never met face to face, but the effects can be just as devastating to relationships as sexual affairs- sometimes even more so.
Relationship breakdown is seldom easy for those involved. In some instances, emotions are so raw that the fracture can lead to an irreconcilable breakdown in communication.
This week, word broke that Chris Martin and Gwynneth Paltrow had decided to part ways. It was like an oil slick near a crematorium. We knew instantly only seconds would separate us from what can only be a flaming onslaught of hate and sh** that infested the already festering world of Twitter. Everybody had an opinion. The majority of which were smug and snide. Delighted, almost relieved to hear the the "golden couple" had finally failed at something!!!! Marriage!!! YES!!!! We can all sleep at night! Thank God for that.
A recent case highlighted in The Daily Telegraph exemplifies the importance of jurisdiction. In essence for a case to be heard in England (or Wales) ordinarily one of the jurisdictional criteria must be met - there is an exception to this, but that is an issue for a later date.
Every day, I am confronted with individuals whose lives are shifting - from being single to becoming a spouse, from married life through divorce and for parents seeing their children every day to a more infrequent basis.
When Gloria slammed the door, she probably just popped on a vinyl, poured herself a White Russian and got on with her life. Because, unlike us, she didn't have the option of going online, logging on to Facebook and literally looking back...
Financial advisors are on the sharp edge of the divorce journey, and they certainly know what are the trigger points for a divorce to become nasty.
I remember my hands shaking at the greengrocers and time seeming to move more slowly than seemed naturally possible. It was much later that I started using writing as a way to get a different perspective on what had happened to me.
I have been venting my anger and sadness through the written word. I email my friend, and send her my unpublished articles. "No. You cannot publish that." She tells me. I become frustrated. "You are trapped in a loop." She goes on.
This sounds like a flippant statement but it's not meant to be. Leaving my job to go self employed, and leaving my husband to go it alone as a single parent, were both incredibly important and emotional times in my life. Times filled with fear, doubt, uncertainty, and plenty of tears. And on recent reflection I realised that I'd gone through many of the same thoughts and feelings during each of them.
When we speak of conflict, where things get nasty and personal, where it's not just words that are used as weapons but bodies and objects around, then we wreak havoc in the lives of our children.
Those born in the baby boom period after the Second World War are recognised as one of the wealthiest generations in the UK due to comparative high incomes/low house prices. Typically, they have benefited from joint assets, such as property, savings, etc. So, why are so many deciding to divorce after achieving such success in family and wealth?