I started to feel like that about a lot of my friendships, from very early on in my pregnancy, and once my first baby arrived, it became clear that maintaining certain friendships was going to be harder than climbing Kilimajaro in heels. But it was a struggle of emotions- these were friendships I'd had for 20 years- I'd been friends with these people for longer than I hadn't been.
They started to tell us about the absolute non-negotiables - the car seat, that would be researched with absolute scrutiny, likewise the breathing sensor pads. My husband and I threw an almost imperceptible glance towards each other. "Oh, they're in it now alright. They're in the baby game. And they don't even know the half of it."
A day after my 20th birthday I 'ghosted' my best friend Gemma*. Feeling particularly hungover after a night clubbing we had our very first fight, where eight years of toxic resentment surfaced. I then deleted her off all social media sites, blocked her number and never spoke to her again. I never told her the real reason why either.
I was almost hopeless and had run out of money trying to start up the Tom Cridland brand two years ago, aged 23, when I sent an offer of a complimentary pair of our trousers to Nigel Olsson, who has been Elton's drummer since 1969 and was one of my favourite musicians, via his rep. Much to my surprise, I had an email from Nigel himself the next day, saying he loved the look of my designs.
Figures this week showed that the number of prosecutions for hate crimes against disabled people has risen by more than 40% over the last year. I have a learning disability, and I live in supported housing run by Mencap. When staff there told me about the rise in hate crime, I was shocked but not surprised.