I'm really angry at myself for putting myself down that day, and letting myself feel so negatively towards my body. But I'm so grateful I was able to step out of that so quickly. I felt really positive for the rest of the day, and waited for my boyfriend to finish work - in my new underwear (makeup done and everything)!
A bit more pain and hanging around and being at the mercy of machines is doable. It's a bit like going on a long tour with a really shit band. The chemo I've done for the last two days is certainly not as bad as my worst hangover was back in the day, but it does feel like the most oppressive jetlag, the plane having flown in from Mars.
Anorexia is tiresome, people keep using the word choice. "You can choose to eat or not Claire" but it isn't a choice not like the choice between having a bath or a shower. My choices are very powerful ones with very powerful consequences, I feel the word 'choice' in this situation is too mild a word.
I've heard time and again about fellow Parkinson's sufferers experiencing devastating consequences from being hospitalised. From personal experience, I understand the severity and possible ramifications all too well after being hospitalised some months ago. Hospitalisation is something I try to avoid at all costs, but occasionally there is no choice.
Because of his particular journey with MS (the experiences can be very different) Ramin has been slowed down by an illness that took away his independence for a long time. Relapse-free, he is now in the slow but steady fight to recover and he gets frustrated with himself, with me and his body, his mind.
This weekend, tens of thousands of people will be flocking to the cinema to see Still Alice with Julianne Moore portraying a woman with early onset Alzheimer's. They'll undoubtedly be able to identify and sympathise with what's happening on the screen because even if dementia is not directly affecting them...