I never thought I would be in a place to write an honest letter to the attackers. I always hoped I would get to a place where the abuse and rape didn't define or affect me to a level where I was unable to engage in the world around. This day has come where I have finally let go of the past. I am not a victim. I am a survivor.
The whole furore of Christmas and talking to my friend left me with a great sense of depletion. I recently found employment and I even worked in the week between Christmas and New Year's Eve. While I was working I thought about my friend, who told me that she did not want any medication and preferred to live with just her memories.
So suddenly making one life together becomes more than about managing your preferences like what you each want for dinner, or agreeing on how to make the best cup of tea. It becomes about merging your lives, and at the same time, trying to be "married". This is where we often find we have gaps in our expectations, communication and understanding.