Once I was ambivalent about motherhood, my life was beautiful yet terrible, an enormous experience and I needed, wanted nothing else to make it more. But somewhere on my journey, I realized that I was denying myself motherhood not because I didn't want children, but because I didn't trust myself to do a good job.
Other women have every right to share their baby news, their photos, and their updates, just as I share photos of Hugo's life, and his grave garden. I would never dream of asking them to stop sharing photos of their bumps or babies. Rather than continue to torture myself, I have started unfollowing, for now, on Facebook some women...
How do you know you're really ready to be a parent? Is there a point in life where it clicks in your head and says "Yes, now you've ticked all the boxes so here you go, one child coming up!"? Or are we ever really ready for all the different things that come with being pregnant, giving birth and raising a child?
I hate to admit it but as the second baby came along, delivering us with two Tiny Humans under Two, which, as grateful as we are for them, they have filled every corner of our lives, minds and pre occupations squashing me and thee to the other sides of our new universe, with no time to spare and no spare energy to spare for each other.