We have boarded the flight to Geneva, for the past two hours we sat silently next to each other in departures completely ignoring each other's presence, fixated on our electronic devices. To the outside world we must look like a same sex couple who have had a major disagreement on holiday and are enduring the journey home in an amicable silence with underlying rancour.
Due to social conditioning, I didn't feel entirely comfortable with my order choice but consoled myself with the conclusion that I am ill positioned to place the lives of animals in a hierarchy of worth, if I am to eliminate one meat option I should eliminate them all rather than engaging in some back patting moral hypocrisy.
The host of the broadcast asked my subject what he would be doing with his life had he not found his calling as a stand up comedian, to which Daniel rather tragically responded that he'd probably be working in a job he hated, married to a spouse he didn't love, with children he didn't want. On measuring this brutally self aware proclamation I don't think Daniel considered the target audience of drive time radio.
What happened last night? Where did I leave Daniel? Why is my bed wet? Once I wrangle together my material possessions, find the location of my test subject and tip the maid, I relax in transit and begin to collate my findings from the previous day. Today is different, I have none of those anxieties.
The doting gesture of adoration is to act as a surprise accompaniment to the gift I had already left behind before embarking on my journey, and additionally aids to pacify any displeasure she may harbour towards my absence. I dare say it also selfishly helps to quell my own guilt at the situation. Regardless, Daniel has informed me that my actions suggest that I am a closeted homosexual.
After all the recent hype over the northern lights, NASA announced back in June 2014 that the sun's polarity had finally flipped and we were beyond the peak of the current Solar Maximum - a period of supercharged solar activity that usually occurs every 11 years and serves as a catalyst for spectacular northern lights displays.
There has for some years now been a great deal of interest in Sweden here in the UK. I think this stems largely from the fact that Swedes seem like a happier, more successful version of us... What is their secret? It could be summed up in one word: 'lagom'. Lagom is a uniquely Swedish word with no direct translation into English. It means 'not too much, not to little'.