It is this debate that secularists, both religious and otherwise, are fighting for. The movement doesn't aim to destroy or dismantle religion, but to create a society where no one group is granted special privilege or power. A society which ensures that all beliefs are protected and welcomed equally. But this debate can only be had once you stop using "secularism" as a slur.
Personally, I tend to be less bigoted than I used to be, but when I do get on my high horse, which happens more than I like to admit, I tend to direct my anger towards the people I perceive to be ignorant, stupid, naive or socialist. The problem is that when I do this, I stop thinking of the person in question and start thinking of a group.
The word 'tolerance' in fact does not do enough justice to the largely subscribed-to notion in Britain that all men are indeed created equal, and so too women, gays and Jehovah's Witnesses. The word I'm looking for is 'acceptance'. It is an accepting culture, an embracing culture, a friendly, open culture.