Yes Admiral, it is indeed a trap, and you are officially five minutes behind every member of your crew. But that's partly what's so endearing: the archetypical befuddlement, and of course the delivery. Erik nailed it.
Over the next fortnight, HuffPostUK Entertainment is going LOUD & PROUD, where we'll be celebrating how gay culture has influenced and, in turn, been embraced by all fields of entertainment, inspiring cinema-goers, TV audiences, music-lovers and wider society with its wit, creativity and power of expression.
Sadly Jon Favreau's new, live action version of Disney's take on The Jungle Book is a massive let down. I spent half the film trying to stay awake and the rest of the movie trying to make out what was going on.
Katherine Round's film explores a key issue of the modern age, the ever growing gap between the "have's" and "have not's", our obsession with wealth and the growing feeling that capitalism isn't working. It is shot beautifully, and this cinematography embraces and cuddles you as you follow the lives of people on both sides of the wealth divide.
The toughest thing about being an actor is dealing with failure. Audition after audition where you lay yourself bare in front of a couple of strangers and a camera, only to walk out the door without ever hearing a thing. It's difficult to dispel the nagging self doubt that comes with
Rudyard Kipling would smile and pinch himself. The lush forest's alive with Kipling's classic characters, so real that you jump with amazement when they speak.
August is deep into summer school holidays and although another superhero film has filled the slot occupied by Fantastic Four last year, the casting and trailers for DC Comics' Suicide Squad makes it clear that another Fantastic Four-style disappointment is not on the cards, and it could easily eclipse Batman V Superman to become the DC film 2016 is remembered for.
Imagine being too scared to ask for a bathroom break at work. Or working in 38 degree heat without safe drinking water. Or being locked in, forced to live in fear of fires or other accidents. On a recent trip to Myanmar, I spoke to Su Su Hlaing, a young woman for whom this was a daily reality. Su Su Hlaing told me that when she was young, she dreamt of being a teacher. But when the recent economic problems started, she had to find a job in the garment factories to support her family. I met her in their dormitory room where she lives and sleeps in what can only be described as slum-like conditions.
This week I was invited to an early, special-screening of the new Miles Davis biopic Miles Ahead, and came away feeling inspired by this film that focused not on his life, legacy or chronological narrative, but the story of just two crazy days in his life. It's everything we like to think a Rock n Roll music stars life is like 24-7.
If you're after a clubbing experience like this though you might be saddened to know that these one-night-only events are as secret as the more widely known Secret Cinema nights. Before you get there you'll only know that you're in for a good night, but nothing else is given away.
Shot in real time with an audacious 138 minute single take 'Victoria' is an exhilarating, drug fuelled, frenetic, roller coaster, crazy, dusk to dawn Berlin trip - 'Papusza' offers a fascinating glimpse into the world of the first Roma poet - 'Black Mountain Poets,' a low budget indie hopes for gentle farce but strains to live up to it's intentions.
I have the privilege and responsibility to play Spider-Man on screen, something I figure all young boys dream about but without realising that they can do something heroic and life changing without swinging across the Manhattan skyline... For whatever reason, men have not engaged with stem cell donation in the same numbers as women. This needs to change and that's why Anthony Nolan is running a campaign to understand the reasons for this shortfall and plug this lifesaving hole.
People want to know because learning about the creative process of artists and writers is fascinating, and it's also a reminder that all great work starts somewhere and changes and grows. That's why it's genuinely such a joy that Grayson Perry has published parts of his sketchbooks from throughout his career...
When overseas on assignment he orders double portions of coffee to go with his scrambled eggs in France, espressos in the United States, Irish coffee to follow a steak and champagne dinner at Shannon airport, and iced coffee for lunch while on the road to Saratoga with Felix Leiter.
Film trailers = portentous voiceover, something to whet the appetite and at least four major spoilers. Think how amazing it would have been to have watched Jurassic Park with no knowledge that it was about a park of dinosaurs.
The ageist jokes were boring when they were made before Crystal Skull, and they're even more tiresome now. Not only does Ford's age not matter in the slightest, but it actually offers the opportunity to do something genuinely new with a blockbuster.