THE BLOG

A Few Thoughts on Perverts

01/03/2013 15:52 GMT | Updated 29/04/2013 10:12 BST

Mrs Mountable writes:

I see the issue of banter in word and deed, otherwise known as, so called, work based, sexual harassment has raised it's head in the news again.

The time has come for me to speak on this issue as there are several girls utterly missing the point on this issue.

Let's leave aside the career girls, in this for a moment and concentrate on the main point, which is being entirely overlooked once again in the rush to blame the boys.

The shrill seekers are silencing the point, and I'll tell you for why.

If a powerful man makes his amorous intentions apparent to you girls, it's a compliment.

I've lost count of the number of times some screeching volunteer has cornered me at a fundraiser and harangued me about my husband simply being friendly. I say to them, as I say to you now. Stop over reacting.

I'm tired of seeing the best of British traditions being lost in the melee. From seaside sauciness such as page 3, to humourless misunderstandings at conferences, the age old tradition of good old British banter is turning the flattering attentions of those more powerful than us, into the pathetic predatory fumbling of desperate bullies. I mean honestly.

As a girl growing up, I grew to understand that my role as a woman in the workplace was to struggle and wrestle with the best of them.

I remember as a single girl applying for a secretarial role in an office full to bursting with boys. They were looking for a dolly bird with a sense of humour and they got one.

I didn't fret and moan over every bottom pinch, or every compliment about my curves and attributes, because the main thing was to have a laugh and we certainly had a laugh back in the good old days before Channel 4 made everything a criminal offence.

Ladies crying foul these days are simply moving the legitimate goalposts. It's sexism against men once again, pure and simple.

Get a thicker skin and a sense of humour is my advice girls. If men are carrying these responsibilities and need to let off steam, stop attempting to quash their human right to express themselves. Be grateful for the fact that you have caught their eye and be quiet.

And as for those wishing to pursue a career in the world of men, not that I approve of our married ladies, with school aged children doing this, but I give you fair warning that any girl attempting to do so without understanding the basic urges of men is making a colossal mistake. I mean who wants to look up from their desks on any given day to find some hatchet faced moaner unable to take a joke, bearing down on them with the head of HR in tow?

No one that's who.

Piers is again facing an investigation for humorously exposing himself at the Christmas party. The girl in question is an attention seeker, nothing more or less. She may, like the many before her, be hell bent on ruining an illustrious career but she will not win. If as a joke he grabbed her breasts and quacked like a duck, whilst he shouted "Free my wee willy winky" then the correct response if to giggle, not phone the police.

He simply will not stand for any injustice. Take for example his pornography investigation, which he and his assistant Kathleen have been engaged in for months. They have spent many, many nights holed up in a local hotel sifting through the evidence.

They are also planning a trip away to investigate the issue further afield. The council have agreed to continue to fund this by closing a day centre for the elderly which is a justifiable sacrifice Piers is prepared to make.

When it comes to dedication on the issue of perversion, no one is more dedicated than Piers. We were crossing the high street last week when one grateful pensioner shouted "Get stuffed, pervert"

So the message of collective gratitude as to his continued effort, is definitely getting through.

I will Stand by My Man and remind him once again that it's simply PC gone mad. Because it is!

Not that you can say mad these days.