01/03/2012 11:49 GMT | Updated 01/05/2012 06:12 BST

How To Be Good In Bed (We're Talking Sleep, Of Course)

Whether you're indulging in a night of unbridled passion, slipping under freshly washed sheets after a hellish day at work or snuggling up under a cloud-like duvet in the depths of winter, few places can compete with the heavenly sanctuary that is your own bed - which is why we are celebrating National Bed Month.

But while some of life's most blissful moments are undoubtedly spent under the covers (or indeed on top of them), for many, so are some of the darkest hours. If you've ever had trouble sleeping, you'll know that lying awake thinking about work at 3am while tossing and turning in tangled sheets can be torturous.

Your bed has the power to make or break your night, not to mention set your mood for the following day.

From the best feng shui position for your bed and choosing the right mattress for a restful night's sleep to finding a way to sleep in harmony with your partner, transform your bed with these simple tips and ensure you're more Sleeping Beauty than The Princess And The Pea.


But what when you're sharing your personal sanctuary with another? They say your sleep position reveals aspects of your personality but according to relationship expert Dr. Pam Spurr, your sleeping dynamic with your other half could reveal some telling signs about your relationship dynamic, too...

What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship

"Putting aside any special needs - like physical or medical issues that mean a couple must sleep apart or give each other space on their mattress - the positions you adopt reveal some between-the-sheets secrets," says Dr Pam.


"For instance, are you two as inseparable in sleep as you are during the day so you cuddle up in 'spoons' position all night? Or do you cling to the edge of the bed as your partner sprawls with a lack of care for your space in the starfish position? 

"Because even when asleep our subconscious minds keeps on churning away and senses what's near us. And if it's churning over a difficult phase in your relationship this might be reflected in a sleep position that puts you as far apart as possible."

She adds: "Considering this the positions you adopt speaks volumes about your relationship and can reveal how you're really feeling about each other. In subtle ways it can also reveal who probably holds the power between you."

Here are a few key sleep positions:

The Spoons: Man Behind: Both lie on your sides and he faces her back. 

The likely meaning is that you two have deep affection, he's protective of her and possibly quite traditional. But do think about the implication if you only sleep in this position and sex has gone off the boil as it might reflect things becoming too platonic.

Poles Apart: Your backs to each other, a wide gap between your backs.

Beware unless, as above, you have medical/physical issues that mean you need your space, this signals intimacy is breaking down. You two may well be too independent of each other and beginning to lead parallel lives that never touch. If independence suits you both there's nothing wrong with that as long as there is some affection between you. Make sure you don't use this position to shut each other out.

The Starfish: One sprawls in bed, the other faces away, clinging to the bed edge.

This is a clear indicator that the sprawler dominates the relationship. They might also be selfish and unaware - or uncaring - of their partner's needs. If you're feeling pushed out physically like this and emotionally it's key to start asserting yourself during the day. And things might become more equitable at night in bed."

Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr