Britain Preparing For Everything To Be Rubbish Again

Britain Preparing For Everything To Be Rubbish Again

Worried Brits up and down the land are bracing themselves for life being utterly sh*t once the Olympic Games are over.

"I've been so happy for over a week now," said Vicky Crumpet of Slough. "People have been enjoying themselves, strangers have been smiling at each other and the newspapers are full of people who are worthy of our admiration and celebration. How can we return to normal life after this?"

The UK government has revealed that a counselling hotline will be open from 13 August to cope with the impending misery - or 'the Olympic legacy', as it's officially known.

"For two weeks, British people will have forgotten how divided, angry and miserable they felt before the Games," said a government spokesman. "We're prepared to be swamped by calls when the reality hits."

LOCOG has reminded Britons that the gloom won't last, however - as the Paralympics start on 29 August.

But this hasn't convinced everyone. "Oh great. So we're just going to feel this all over again when that ends on 9 September, are we?" said Dave Bloke of Wigan.

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