How NOT To Wear Sexy Halloween Costumes

This is for all you girls (and guys) who think Halloween is a time to get naked.

For those of you out there who trawl the internet for "sexy" pumpkin costumes, tarty witch outfits and saucy ghost outfits and trot off to the student union with a well-placed broom - whatever happened to cutting two holes in a sheet?

Let's just get one thing straight: a pumpkin is not, has not, and will never be, sexy. No-one will judge you if you take one night off, go wild, and paint yourself orange. As in, actual orange, not St Tropez orange.

If you are a follower of the Mean Girls mantra* then you may want to have a glance at the costumes below. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, a pumpkin just looks better as a pumpkin. Not a bikini.

*"Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."