We know it's still early days but brace yourself for the most insane thing you've read in 2014.
This is Samuel Fletcher.
![](https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5d02191a240000300f8c4813.jpeg?ops=scalefit_720_noupscale)
He's a Ukip councillor in the Bracken Bank and Ingrow Ward in Keighley.
Samuel would like to give you a little insight into his mind...
(h-t @MissLWade and #thingselliottsays.