Max Clifford Trial: Heartbreaking 'Victim's' Letter Read Out In Court

This is an anonymous letter which an alleged victim said she sent to Max Clifford in 2011. It was read out in the trial at Southwark Crown Court on Wedneday:

It's taken me 35 years to write this letter so hopefully it will reach you. I believe it will as anyone opening this email/letter should realise just how important and significant this correspondence is and pass it to you. Too dangerous to fall into the wrong hands, too serious not to inform you of its existence.

You will not be surprised by it as you have often said that you are amazed that 'things haven't surfaced'. I wondered if you remembered as I do the child sexual abuse you engaged in, befriending my parents, flattering their daughter, talking of an acting/modelling career, offices near Bond Street.

They were impressed even though no-one had heard of you. Conversations about your friend Tommy Steele, wasn't it squash you played. Julie Christie and the new Star Wars film that was soon to hit the cinema. Lots of famous names, places and yet still down to Earth. A local lad done good.

Recommending restaurants, funny stories, little secrets you fed them to gain their trust. The abuse started in your office. You sat behind your desk, eventually persuading me to strip, convincing me that my protesting was ridiculous and very childish. 'Don't you want to be grown up?'

You took pleasure in degrading me, visiting me at home, taking me out to meet fictitious people, abusing me instead and returning me to my home with a story so my parents didn't become suspicious. Names of people we had met, places we had been to, so they would be fooled that their daughter was in safe hands and not those of a paedophile.

The abuse continued. A friend's flat where you wanted me to act out a scene. You raped me. You blackmailed me with lies about photographs that had been taken. Fooled me into believing that you were somehow protecting me by stopping them from being published. Even inventing another person who telephoned and continued with the pretence and demanded that I talked dirty to them.

What was his name? That's right Max, pretending to be Terry. I had no-one to turn to. You were very clever. A+ in grooming children. How proud you must be. What chance did I have? You made my life a living hell, up until the point when I even contemplated suicide. You got worried then and backed off.

Too dangerous for you. You might have been found out. You repulsed me then as you do now, wearing the mask of someone who has values, hiding behind charity work, trying to cleanse yourself of the guilt you must feel perhaps and stating that you don't have sympathy for paedophiles.

You pretend to be normal. But you know inside you're not and you will never escape that shame. It must feel horrible to know that the real you is so vile and repulsive. It must be frustrating that you have no-one to talk to about that. Perhaps you've even tried to bury the memories, almost fooling yourself that you are a different person now.

Better than that, convinced yourself almost that it didn't happen, or does it continue? Are you still abusing children? I remember driving, pulling up behind you at traffic lights in Raynes Park, you in your yellow Jag, so obvious that it was you. What to do? Wanting to get out of the car, confront you, let you know that I still remember, wanting everyone to know the real disgusting creature that you are.

I wonder what your daughter would think of you if she knew or perhaps she does know and it's a secret that you share. How terrifying for you knowing that you have so much to lose. She was a child when I was a child. Perhaps you abused her too, or did you draw the line there.

Perhaps you've made excuses, fed her a line, and you think she's fooled as well. If she does suspect, maybe she's not ready yet to face the reality, too painful, too horrific, every little girl's worst nightmare. Of course one day she will find out the truth and perhaps you won't be around to beg her forgiveness or to feed her the excuses or blame someone else.

What an awful memory she will be left with. I truly feel huge sympathy for her. I can't imagine how unbearable it would be to find out that your father was a paedophile. It would probably ruin her life and certainly make her doubt everything about your relationship. You may have gotten away with it for years but inside you can't escape from the monster that you are, the repulsive, vile reality, that terrible, festering secret of yours which burdens you.

Your secret, not my secret. The hypocrisy of your life. You say you can't bear hypocrisy and that is what spurs you on, when you yourself are a hypocrite worse than any of those you seek to shame. A paedophile who publicly condemns other paedophiles to divert attention. A double bluff. How many others like me are there out there?

I shudder to think of all those opportunities that you've had/have to groom more children. All the time wearing that mask. Shame on you. Part of the reason I'm writing to you is that my counsellor has recommended it as part of my therapy. I'm undecided how much it will help or where we go from here.