Most of us have had that terrible, haunting moment when we mistakenly sat on the toilet, only to realise as the cold porcelain hit our bottom, that the lid hasn't been put down.
Take that moment, and multiply it by your entire lifetime, and you'll have some idea of what Reddit user JayDogSmith has been doing his entire life.
First reported by Uproxx, Mr DogSmith posted this to the Reddit's TIFU (Today I Fucked Up) thread:
So I'm hoping a load of people are going to come out in support of me here but I've got that sinking feeling I may be alone in this.
Our toilet broke so I was in shopping for new ones and the sales person joked (no doubt for the millionth time) that I'll want one that automatically puts the seat down after I'm finished with it. I 'joked' back and said if I didn't have a wife I could save money and not buy one with a seat and I'd never have to hear women complaining about putting it down again. To which he gave me a strange look and said "but what about when you need to poop?" I naturally pointed out that I'm a guy and therefore don't put the seat down, I sit on the rim of the bowl. Several embarrassing moments later, I realize that I've misunderstood my entire life and that guys do indeed use the toilet seat. I left empty handed and red faced.
Thinking about it now, it makes sense. Especially how men's restrooms have seats. But I just assumed it was a unisex/cost saving/oversight deal.
Words fail us. But they didn't fail the people commenting on his thread, who said:
"Omg the poor balls."
"Oh my god, you mean you've been sitting on the actual toilet rim your whole life? Ugh, that's gross and hilarious."
"How he hasn't fallen in is what I want to know."
"You poor bastard. But, seriously, did you ever think, "Wow, this porcelain is cold, and sometimes wet and caked with dried piss. And I have to spend extraordinary effort to not hit the water with my ass and balls. What could I use to get around some of these obstacles? If only they made a toilet seat for dudes...""