So remember when Madonna teased her “star-studded” ‘Bitch I’m Madonna’ video, featuring A-listers like Miley Cyrus, Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj?
Well, the video has finally landed, but the celebrity appearances aren’t quite what we had in mind…
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Sadly, the music video is currently exclusive to Tidal, so unless you’re one of the fives of tens of people to sign up to the music streaming service, you’ll have to take our word for it, which her fans are totally thrilled about, as you can see...
I paid 600 bucks a ticket to Madonna and she releases her new video on Tidal - a paid music streaming service. You ain't getting more money.— Michael Bavaro (@meekalo82) June 17, 2015
The Madonna video has probably been on Tidal for hours but nobody knows. It’s the musical equivalent of a tree falling in a distant forest.— Mint Royale (@MintRoyale) June 17, 2015
Tidal wants me to sign up w/ them to watch Madonna's new video. I think Tidal is overestimating how much I want to watch Madonna's new video— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) June 17, 2015
why would madonna put it on tidal is she a fucking idiot— OXYKITTEN (@harleyxcx) June 17, 2015
Can we not do this bullshit again? Why is the Bitch I'm Madonna video a tidal exclusive? 😴— Queen. (@sstaaceey) June 17, 2015
Luckily for you, we've now seen the video, so we can tell you that while all the celebrities Madonna had previously teased are present and correct - in addition to others she hadn’t previously mentioned, like Kanye West, her youngest son, David, and, curiously, comedian Chris Rock - not all of them are actually in the room with her.
Yes, in fact, the majority of the celebrity “cameos” are actually just close-up shots of the various celebrities mouthing the words “Bitch I’m Madonna”, which is still quite impressive given most of their A-list statuses, but isn’t quite on ‘Bad Blood’ levels of… well… actually being in the same room with Madonna, at the same time.
Even Nicki Minaj, who provides a go-hard-or-go-home rap on the track, doesn’t actually appear with the Queen of Pop in the video, instead showing up on a plasma screen which Madonna then dances in front of.
Still, at least Madonna could count on Rita ‘Publicity Shy’ Ora to show up for her on the day…
Don't get us wrong, the music video is good enough, Madonna's dancing is fantastic and it's great to see her enjoying herself so much... but these celebrity "cameos" are quite the letdown.
‘Bitch I’m Madonna’, co-produced by Diplo, acts as the third single from Madonna’s latest album, ‘Rebel Heart’.
To promote the release, Madonna will be heading on a world tour later this year, kicking off in Montreal this September.