At the risk of being TMI, the idea for this post came to me whilst I was shaving my legs... a task I'd neglected for longer than I care to mention, as it's such a bloomin' faff. It struck me that us girls and all our beauty prep must look pretty damn weird to you fellas...
I went travelling with a fellow female friend and her boyfriend for three months, and he always found our beauty habits truly bizarre... from dousing ourselves in a face mask to curling our eyelashes, the poor boy looked genuinely befuddled each time we brought "what looks like a torture device" to hover around our eyes, or emerged from the bathroom with a bright green face...
So today, I thought I'd debunk the myths men have amassed about beauty over the years...
1. We put on makeup for you.
The majority of girls will agree with me when I say: we put on makeup for ourselves... sometimes other girls, but mainly us.
2. You prefer the natural look.
You say that, then you see us without makeup on...
... and you look terrified.
Trust us, sometimes you don't want to see what's under that foundation and concealer... and we are all aware we look better with it on.
So when we do wear it, feel free to make a fuss.
3. By wearing makeup, we are lying to you.
If you're stupid enough to think we naturally have gold, shimmery eyelids, ridiculously long, thick eyelashes or bright red lips, you are beyond any help we can give you.
4. Applying makeup is easy.
In most 'My Boyfriend Does My Makeup' videos on YouTube, the guy will proclaim he will easily be able to apply a full face of makeup to his girlfriend's face... it rarely ends with the girl loving her finished look and vowing to wear her makeup that way forever more.
The skill that goes into that perfect winged eyeliner, that perfectly sculpted cheekbone or those magnificently defined eyebrows is akin to fine art, we'll have you know.
5. That luxe-looking lipstick? It cost a fiver.
Errrr... it probably cost the same as a weekly food shop... but you know what?