A statistician has finally found a scientific way to calculate something we've always wondered about - who would be safe in the event of a zombie apocalypse?
This isn't a joke. He's presenting his findings in front of the American Physical Society this week.
Speaking to the Washington Post, stats wizard and zombie enthusiast Alexander A. Allemi pointed out that his program isn't too different from the way virologists predict the spread of actual diseases.
The program, titled 'Zombietown USA', only covers the United States mainland, but allows the user to discover how quickly the zombie infection would spread based on different changeable factors (bite-to-kill ratio and inter-cell propagation speed).
The bite-to-kill ratio concerns how often a person would kill a zombie compared with how often a zombie would infect a human.
Because "transportation would likely break down in an outbreak" population numbers are fixed in the simulation, cutting out the chance of people escaping a city.
Just like in the movies, the densely populated areas are the first to fall to the undead and the safest place is in quiet village towns.
"It would be a situation where you’re watching chaos on television, but where you are everything would remain unchanged."
But it wouldn't save you forever, he warns. The zombie apocalypse is inevitable and will eventually claim every living human.
Y'know, if it was biologically or physically possible.
Best states for avoiding the zombie apocalypse:
Best States for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse
New Mexico(01 of05)
Open Image ModalNew Mexico's high rankings of martial arts practice, zombie knowledge and Ironman triathletes makes this state a good defensive spot. The green chiles aren't bad either. (credit:Flickr:Summer Foovay)
Idaho(02 of05)
Open Image ModalPaintball and laser tag enthusiasts, high survival skills and a physically fit population have ranked Idaho as the fourth best spot for surviving the zombie apocalypse. (credit:Flickr:DonMiller_ToGo)
Colorado(03 of05)
Open Image ModalBut Idaho's fitness has nothing on Colorado's, which also has the lowest obesity rates in the country. (credit:Flickr:maspangler)
Wyoming(04 of05)
Open Image ModalOne thing Colorado is missing, however: guns. Never fear, Wyoming's gun supply is humbled only by its zombie knowledge and survival skills, making it the second best place to survive zombie warfare. (credit:Flickr:diana_robinson)
Alaska(05 of05)
Open Image ModalSomehow we are not surprised. Military personnel? More than anywhere else in the nation. Veterans? Loads of them. Guns? Check. Physical activity? Check. Survival skills? This is Alaska, for Pete's sake. Throw in some zombie knowledge (and not to mention soul-crushing vastness and isolation) and you've got yourself the number one state in the nation for surviving the zombie apocalypse. Winter is coming and Alaska invented winter. (credit:Flickr:terrybaojr)
Worst states for avoiding the zombie apocalypse:
States Least Likely to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse
Georgia(01 of05)
Open Image ModalWhile Georgia isn't the worst place to be when the zombies strike, it's certainly not the best place. The high number of military personnel lends a hand, as does the relatively high number of laser tag enthusiasts. But low rankings in survival skills, martial arts training and number of athletes aren't helping. (credit:AP)
New York(02 of05)
Open Image ModalNew York is basically the set of a zombie film. Its main borough is a sprawling metropolis on top of an island -- how do you think you're getting out? Throw in the complete lack of guns and survival skills, the low number of veterans, and people who don't have time for things like paintball and it's a zombie paradise. (credit:Getty Images)
Washington, D.C.(03 of05)
Open Image ModalThe President might be safe but that doesn't mean you are. Your big braaaaaaain is the stuff of zombie fodder. No guns, no survival skills and no zombie knowledge? No chance. (credit:Flickr:JustinSchuck)
Mississippi(04 of05)
Open Image Modal"Look at this lovely view of the University of Mississippi Medical Center," thought the zombie as it was eating your brain. Mississippi scored low marks in nearly every category, including physical activity, obesity, paintball and zombie knowledge. If it wasn't for the military personnel and gun ownership, zombie refuge might be a lost cause. (credit:Flickr:tvdxer)
New Jersey(05 of05)
Open Image ModalNew Jersey, you might already be zombies. If it weren't for Washington, D.C., you'd be dead last in survival skills, dead last in zombie knowledge and dead last in gun ownership. So why isn't D.C. dead last? Because at least they know how to play laser tag. New Jersey, you are officially the worst place for surviving the zombie apocalypse. (credit:Flickr:mike.m.carlino)
Zombie Fortification Cabin
500_MAIN(01 of04)
Open Image ModalBedroom 01(02 of04)
Open Image ModalExterior 04 (1)(03 of04)
Open Image ModalWeapon Room 02(04 of04)
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