Elderly People 'Still Enjoy Active Sex Lives', So Why Is Sex Over 70 Such A Taboo? | HuffPost Life

Do You Find The Thought Of Elderly People Having Sex Gross?

Natasha Hinde— The Huffington Post UK

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This week the first major study of sexual health in the 'over 70s' found that our elderly counterparts are still very much enjoying an active sex life.

More than 7,000 people took part in the study, which revealed that just over half of men (54%) and almost a third of women (31%) aged over 70 are still sexually active. A third of these have "frequent" sex at least twice a month.

While it's great to hear that the elderly are enjoying the biological perks of life, there are still many people who would freak out about the thought of older people having sex. Which leads us to ask the question: why?

Telling HuffPost UK Lifestyle about why she thinks sex and the elderly is such a taboo subject, sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox says: "I think people react with distaste on two levels. Firstly, it subconsciously reminds of us our parents - and no-one wants to think about their parents having sex.

"Secondly, it's contrary to society's adoration of youth. We equate youth with beauty and old age with ugliness. So people having sex when they're old conjures up images we're not used to seeing."

She adds that when society does see people having sex, it's usually "young, slim people" on TV or in film.

"Even porn focuses on the young and slim and there's at least a nod given to trying to present things in a flattering light," she adds.

Sex and relationship therapist, Sarah Berry also believes that the media is to blame as it is "forever patronising people over 70 - painting them all as cute and sexless".

"In reality, some people choose to be sexual and some don't. It's great to see this recognised," she adds.

SEE ALSO:
Over 60s Still Have Sex In Old Age But Many Find It Hard To Talk About It, Study Suggests
REVEALED: The Secret Sex Lives Of Over 60s

But there could also be a scientific explanation as to why younger adults squirm at the thought of older people having sex.

Science writer, journalist and evolutionary biologist Mairi Macleod believes that a lot of younger people don't see the elderly as "viable sexual partners".

"Our mate preferences have evolved to make us sexually attracted to people who are good for reproduction," reveals Macleod.

"For women then, those in their 20s and early 30s will be most attractive, and even for men relative youth is important since men lose fertility with advanced age. This means that young people don’t really see the elderly as viable sexual partners."

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20 Tips To Make Sex Great

Don't be afraid to dress up...(01 of20)

Whether it's for the bedroom or for dinner, make sure you feel your best. Costumes and role play can be disinhibiting, but nothing is sexier than confidence. Find what works for you and the confidence it brings will make you glow.Speaking to Harper's Bazaar, Dita Von Teese says, “I have a distinctive aesthetic of what I think is sexy, and I have kind of a uniform. It’s usually something that shows a little bit of cleavage and possibly has long sleeves. I like to wear long, black, leather upper glove and black long-seamed stocking. I like to have my hemline just below the knee, and I like a perfect Louboutin pump.” (credit:Adrianna Williams via Getty Images)

Get to know yourself...(02 of20)

That's right - masturbate. Masturbation helps you get to know your body and that's information you can pass on to your partner. The NHS live well guide recommends masturbation, alone or with a partner, for a good sex life or as an alternative if you and your partner have different libidos, so it's doctor's orders! (credit:Atsushi Yamada via Getty Images)

The spotlight's on you...(03 of20)

Redbook magazine suggests another way to get to know your partner's body and what they like done to it. Take turns with a torch, or your phone light, shining it on the part of your body you want your partner to concentrate on. It can be anywhere, and for as long as the light shines on it, your partner is obligated to focus their attention there, with kisses and strokes etc. (credit:Nisian Hughes via Getty Images)

Take a bath...(04 of20)

Hilda Hutcherson, author of 'Pleasure', tells Marie Claire that heat boosts blood flow to the vagina which increases lubrication and sensitivity. So to get geared up, take a hot bath - it will relax you and stimulate vaginal blood flow, plus you'll smell nice! (credit:Alliance via Getty Images)

Give a massage, get a massage...(05 of20)

A good way to get intimate and learn each others bodies without pressure, massage is a great way to lead in to sex. Using massage as foreplay can slow down the pace while increasing excitement, and feels good for both men and women. (credit:FRANCK FIFE via Getty Images)

Make yourself anticipate...(06 of20)

Build the anticipation by setting yourself some rules. Don't get undressed straight away when engaging in foreplay and revel in the excitement of when you finally will get to undress your partner and let them undress you. If you want to take it a step further then don't let either of you reach orgasm for a set amount of time. Maybe engage in oral sex and foreplay for longer than you would normally, and pull back before you reach the brink. This can help the orgasm you eventually reach feel way more intense. (credit:Jonathan Knowles via Getty Images)

Touch everything...(07 of20)

The power of touch sometimes gets forgotten in the haste to climax. Erogenous zones are everywhere and can stimulate in ways you can't imagine. Don't just touch with your hands, rub your body against your partners, especially sensitive areas like nipples, to get full-body pleasure. (credit:Andreas Kuehn via Getty Images)

Make missionary amazing...(08 of20)

Missionary is one of the hardest positions for women to reach climax in, because clitoral orgasm is much more commonly achieved than through penetration. Adjust yourself so your partner shifts upwards about two inches, and wrap your legs around his thighs. Keep adjusting until your clitoris is resting against his pubic bone - now when he thrusts, you'll get clitoral stimulation as well. Win win! (credit:pixitive via Getty Images)

Switch roles...(09 of20)

Mixing things up is always exciting, and switching roles in the bedroom can give you a whole new perspective. If you're usually the dominant one, lie back, relax and let your partner take charge. If you're normally more passive, why not tie your partner down (consensually, of course) and take over for a change. (credit:Nisian Hughes via Getty Images)

Communicate...(10 of20)

According to askmen.com: "Talking about your sexual fantasies with your partner is a very healthy form of sex play. It increases communication with your partner and helps you get to know each other better."It doesn't just have to be fantasy, you should talk about reality too. If your partner does something you really enjoy, vocalise it and it'll be more likely to happen again. (credit:Kent Larsson via Getty Images)

Location, location, location!(11 of20)

Sex isn't just for the bedroom, and changing location can help to keep things fresh. If you and your partner are particularly adventurous, make it a challenge to think of new places. If not, try to mix it up within the home, maybe starting with some classics like shower sex. (credit:Pixland via Getty Images)

Be hungry for it...(12 of20)

Try some classic aphrodisiacs like chocolate, strawberries and oysters. You can even incorporate them into the foreplay and feeding each other can be extremely erotic.If you need something to wash it down with, try some warm milk with a pinch of saffron, says Aliza Baron Cohen, author of Sex: Rediscovering Desire Through Techniques & Therapies, to Marie Claire. Saffron is an ancient aphrodisiac, and will release its flavour in the hot milk. (credit:PA Wire/PA Wire)

Ditch the jammies...(13 of20)

Try sleeping nude. If you're set against the idea, why not try sleeping in underwear instead of pyjamas and see how it feels to be skin-on-skin with your partner. Chances are that you'll gain intimacy and become more comfortable with one another, as well as yourself. (credit:Voyagerix via Getty Images)

Set the mood...(14 of20)

Mood lighting can be a life-saver if you're shy or self-conscious, but it can also be incredibly sensual and erotic. So light some candles and put some smooth jazz on, you'll be in the mood in no time. (credit:Edward Smith/EMPICS Entertainment)

Read up...(15 of20)

Pornography can help arouse you - we understand the basics. But for women erotic literature can be more stimulating than the traditional pornographic images or film. This is because it allows us to fill in the blanks to our own taste, creating a tailor-made scenario to tickle your fancy. "The higher your sexual energy is built up before you touch yourself or someone else touches you, the easier it is to have one orgasm and even multiples, because the pot of desire is larger and you've got nothing but sensuality simmering," says Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D., coauthor of The Multi-Orgasmic Woman to Red Book Magazine. (credit:Don Bayley via Getty Images)

Work out for better sex...(16 of20)

Being pumped up and fit can help your sex life by increasing stamina and enjoyment of the physical side of things. More specifically, kegel exercises - which work your pelvic floor - can lead to better sensation during sex (as well as other health benefits).To identify your kegel muscles, stop your urine mid-stream. That's the action you want to simulate when you're not peeing. It's an activity you can then do anywhere, without anyone knowing, even incorporating kegel weights if you want the extra challenge. It can also lead to arousal as you focus on clenching and relaxing the muscles, as these are some of the muscles that contract during orgasm. (credit:Sam Edwards via Getty Images)

Experiment with a blindfold...(17 of20)

(credit:instagram.com/annsummersofficial)

Open your eyes...(18 of20)

On the other hand, try keeping your eyes open. As with kissing it can be tempting to shut your eyes during intercourse, as it's a very vulnerable, intimate time. And that's exactly why you shouldn't. If you watch your partner climax, you'll see exactly what you do to them and it'll give you intense satisfaction. Plus, you get to share in the intimacy and vulnerability, bringing you closer together. (credit:SolStock via Getty Images)

Play together...(19 of20)

Using vibrators doesn't have to be a one player game. Either let your partner watch you pleasure yourself with one, let him take the helm or invest in one you can use together. Vibrating cock rings are good for couples as they inhibit blood flow out of the penis, prolonging his pleasure, and vibrate on the clitoris, enhancing yours. (credit:JOHANNES EISELE via Getty Images)

Cuddle up(20 of20)

Cuddling after sex is crucial as, "couples who spend more time showing affection after sex feel more satisfied with their sex lives, and in turn, with their relationship in general, according to a recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior" says Women's Health magazine. So make time to hold your partner after you've tried all the tips we've listed, to ensure your sex life stays excellent. (credit:Jupiterimages via Getty Images)

But, adds Macleod: "There are plenty of good reasons for older people to enjoy sex, including staying emotionally and physically fit."

Relationships expert Tracey Cox concludes: "I think it's fantastic that people in their 80s are having great sex. It's a different type of sex which is more focused on foreplay, oral sex, touching and stroking than penetration.

"And in many ways, it's more satisfying - especially for women!"

The original piece of research was conducted for the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing (ELSA), led by Dr David Lee, an Age UK Research Fellow at The University of Manchester's School of Social Sciences.

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