Grieving Dads Form Football Team To Support Each Other Through Child Loss

"This is the club you never want to be a part of, yet it is so supportive."
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A group of grieving dads have formed their own football team, with players wearing the names of their ‘lost angels’ on their shirts.

Every player is a father who has lost a child or grandchild and the group play to support each other through their grief, both on and off the pitch.

The club, named Sands United FC Doncaster, was set up by John Drury, 27, after his baby son, Arthur, died in his arms in February last year at just a few hours old.

They have already recruited a squad of 19 and matches will be particularly poignant as every 90 minutes in the UK a baby dies shortly before, during or soon after birth.

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Linked to the charity SANDS (the stillbirth and neonatal death society), the club’s aim is “to give men that platform to speak up and not bottle up their grief any more”.

John and his wife, Grace, knew that Arthur faced problems, including a heart defect from December 2017, but believed it would be operable. Arthur was born at 33 weeks after his mother was admitted to hospital with severe pre-eclampsia.

But tragically, he suffered a cardiac arrest at just five hours old and despite the best efforts of the medical team to keep his heart going, his parents were asked to say goodbye.

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John, from Carcroft near Doncaster, South Yorks, said: “It was very hard and very surreal. Even now it’s a struggle to put into words how you feel. Arthur died just before Mothering Sunday last year and that day was so difficult to get through.

“After the funeral we wanted to be active and do things in his honour, to help others. With the shared love of their children and the beautiful game, we hope, one by one, the men in the team can learn from one another and tell their story in their own time and when they feel ready.”

He added that they have met some “wonderful people”.

“This is the club you never want to be a part of, yet it is so supportive,” he added. “No one deals with grief in the same way but together we can get through anything. There’s a strong link in that a child dies every 90 minutes, the same length as a football game, which is a constant reminder.”

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“Not a day went by or goes by when Arthur’s name isn’t mentioned,” John added.

“There isn’t a great deal in Doncaster to help people who have gone through the trauma of losing a child. We are lucky in that we have a very supportive family and friends. But we wanted to reach out to others. Dads can sometimes be overlooked.”

A first charity event is to take place on Fathers’ Day, 16 June this year, with John’s squad playing an over 30s team from the Keepmoat. Proceeds will fund kit and necessities for the team.

John says the club will play a series of friendly matches next season as he continues to build and develop the squad, which is currently made up of men with varying degrees of experience. He hopes eventually there will be a tournament of SANDS teams.

Babies’ names are to be mentioned and honoured by team members on their birthdays, and each player will bear the name of their child or grandchild on their shirt. Sadly, some players will have up to three different names on their jersey.

Anyone wanting more details or to join the group can contact them via their Facebook page, or by John’s own Facebook page.