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Parents Struggle To Limit Children's Screen Time: Digital Detox Experts Offer Advice

Parents Struggle To Limit Kids' Screen Time: Digital Detox Experts Offer Advice
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Parents have revealed they find it easier to get their children to do homework, go to bed or eat healthily, than persuading them to turn off their consoles, phones, laptops and TVs.

A survey by the charity Action for Children found almost one in four mothers and fathers (23.1%) struggle to limit their children's screen time.

Comparatively, just 10% found it difficult to get their children to complete their homework, 17.5% struggled to send them to bed and 19% faced a battle with healthy eating.

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Carol Iddon, managing director of operations at Action for Children, said: "Technology is an often necessary part of the lives of children and parents alike, but it’s important to maintain a balance with other activities and quality family time.

"We know from our extensive work with families that strong relationships with parents build resilience in children, making them less susceptible to bullying or abuse outside the home, and encouraging them to speak to their parents about any fears or concerns."

Liat Hughes Joshi, author of 'How to Unplug Your Child', told HuffPost UK Parents, she concurs that this is "undoubtedly one of the biggest issues modern parents face", but it is important not to demonise screen time - as it's not all bad.

"Tech is clearly a big part of all our lives now and there's no getting away from that," she said.

"Indeed it has plenty of benefits for our children. So there’s no question of switching off altogether – they’d lose out on education, entertainment, information and, for teens, socialising.

"This should be about ensuring though that screens don’t ruin our ‘real’ offline relationships and don’t hamper our children’s social skills."

Martin Talks, author of 'A to Z of Digital Detoxing', believes part of the problem is that children are being introduced to screens at an increasingly young age.

"There is this rush to get children in front of screens at a young age," he said.

"Usually this is driven by a desire to keep children quiet rather than an aspiration that they be the next Zuckerberg. This is no better than drugging the child.

"We are effectively conducting a mass screen experiment on young people with no idea of the consequences."

Action for Children has published five tips to help families "unplug":

  1. Plan fun family activities that don’t involve technology.
  2. Create a weekly schedule on the principle of an hour of 'energy in' (technology use) equalling an hour of 'energy out' (other activities).
  3. Think back to your own childhood and play your own favourite games with your children.
  4. Identify the challenges your children enjoy in the video games they play and replicate them. Do they like games about sport? Encourage them to play the real deal in the park or go as a family to a local match. Are their favourite games puzzles or brain-teasers? Organise a board game night.
  5. Practice what you preach: when your children are having screen-free time, turn off your devices too.

Hughes Joshi believes it helps if you set a good example yourself. There's no point telling the kids off for staring at screens if your phone is permanently in your hand.

"I’d suggest looking close to home and ensuring you set a good example," she said.

"How many of us are glued to screens but then expect our kids to behave differently? Of course we might need to be online for work but when we don’t, ensure you’re a decent role model – don’t jump and grab your smartphone every time a message arrives."

Talks agrees.

"Parents need to ask themselves some tough questions about their own screen habits and how they have introduced screens into their children's lives," he said.

"If meal times are taken in front of the TV; if conversations are interrupted to glance at phones; if work emails are dealt with in evenings, weekends and holidays; how can parents expect their children to be any different?

"Parents should provide positive examples and positive alternatives. Try to kickstart the process with a digital detox break. Remove all devices - including the parents' - and enjoy other activities. Get the children involved in suggesting activities."

As well as digital detoxes Hughes Joshi also advises setting up tech time rules that apply to everyone - adults included.

"A set of family screen time rules can be very powerful," she said. "These should be set together and can involve the children.

"Examples would be no screens during meals, perhaps not for the last hour before bedtime (screen glare is associated with sleep problems) and no tech when there are visitors (other than perhaps sometimes when they have friends over).

"Finally, try not to buy younger children their own gadgets – they really don’t need a tablet or smartphone aged five. Hold off as long as you can and stick with ‘family’ tablets etc. because this makes it easier to keep an eye on what they are doing and also to take it away because it is not ‘theirs’.

"Most of all don’t be afraid to stand firm – you’re the parent and if you think screens are getting too much, take them away, set firmer limits, do what you need to even if it causes a strop or tantrum.

"It’s not easy but if you believe it’s the right thing for your children and they’re getting tech overload, it’s worth it."

Lucy Gill, director of apps and technology at Fundamentally Children, also has some advice on separating children from their devices without a row erupting.

"Give them warning when the 'end' is nearing so they can learn to find a natural end point," she said.

"You'd be pretty cross if you were in the middle of something and someone came along and turn the tablet/computer/TV off, warning is important and will help them self-regulate.

"Initially try to encourage them away with suggestions of what they might do instead.

"It shouldn't always be a parents role to suggest or steer play, but if you're struggling to get a child off a tablet then suggesting something else they will enjoy is a good motivation and helps them recognise the importance of a balance too.

"As soon as possible encourage children to regulate their own screen time.

"Talk to them about why you're worried about them spending too much time on it and encourage them to find a balance for themselves.

"This makes them feel part of the process and sets them up well for later life."

Talks adds that while it's important mums and dads take these steps to limit the amount of time their children spend looking at screens, he also believes responsibility doesn't lie solely on parents.

"Companies need to take a measure of responsibility too," he said. "Smartphones should carry health warnings and usage guidance. Like any addictive substance."

Digital Detox Habits Of Sucessful People
Christopher Nolan(01 of10)
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You’d think as the director of Interstellar, Christopher Nolan would be obsessed with all things tech. But Nolan doesn’t even own a mobile phone. He believes a phone wouldn't give him enough time to "think".

"You know, when you have a smartphone and you have 10 minutes to spare, you go on it and you start looking at stuff," he told The Hollywood Reporter.

"There's always someone around me who can tap me on the shoulder and hand me a phone if they need to."
(credit:Joel Ryan/Invision/AP)
Mary Berry(02 of10)
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Baker and GBBO judge Mary Berry doesn't let technology get in the way of her first passion: Food.

She believes phones and other devices should always be banned at the dinner table and goes one step further with her own family.

"When the children and grandchildren come to see me, they hand in all their games and phones at the door. I call it 'the Downing Street rule', because that’s what they make you do if you go to Number 10," she said.
(credit:Jonathan Short/Invision/AP)
Cameron Diaz(03 of10)
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Although she does have Twitter and Instagram accounts, Cameron Diaz is very strict about the way she uses social media.

She'll only use the sites for work and promotional purposes so that they don't interfere with her every day life.

"I think social media is a crazy-ass experiment on society," she previously said.

"The way people use it to get validation from a bunch of strangers is dangerous. What’s the point?"
(credit:Joel Ryan/Invision/AP)
Scott Mills (04 of10)
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BBC Radio1 DJ Scott Mills values quiet time when he's not at work.

He told HuffPost UK that he's started to have a digital detox every evening.

"I have a kind of rule that after about 8 o’clock in the evening, I try not to check my phone. I realised when I was on holiday recently that it does stress you out a bit, and I think this is true for a lot of people without even realising it.

"I’m the kind of person who, if I get an email I’ll reply to it immediately, and I’ll be checking Twitter all the time and refreshing the internet, and actually I need to not do that because it sends my mind racing," he said.
(credit:AKEM/Rex)
Randi Zuckerberg(05 of10)
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Randi Zuckerberg, sister to Mark (he founded a little site called Facebook), worked as the director of market development and spokesperson alongside her brother until 2011.

But these days she's warning us to be mindful of the amount of time we spend logged on and has a digital-free day once a week.

"I’ve now got to the point where I’ve trained the people around me, so they don’t reach out to me – you can do that! I love the spa. Yoga is also one of my favourite things to do," she told HuffPost UK Lifestyle.

(credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sadie Macleod(06 of10)
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Hip and Healthy founder Sadie Macleod is passionate about having a healthy relationship with technology, as well as food.

"I have a tendency to check my emails at home, but when 9pm comes around I have a computer curfew which is the best thing ever," she told HuffPost UK Lifestyle.

"I implemented it about a year ago when I worked at Conde Nast because I used to get so stressed out at night.

"Now I just turn my phone and computer off at 9pm and then I’ll watch TV and just relax."
(credit:Sadie Macloud)
Arianna Huffington(07 of10)
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Founder of The Huffington Post Arianna Huffington is an advocate of digital detoxing - and she has a top tip for ending your midnight Instagram addiction.

In her book Thrive, Huffington recommends ditching all devices at the bedroom door. She favours a good, old fashioned alarm clock to wake her up in the morning.
(credit:Charles Sykes/Invision/AP)
Bill Clinton(08 of10)
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Bill Clinton was once one of the most powerful men in the world - and undoubtably, he still has a huge amount of influence.

Yet the former president refuses to use email.

"I’ve found people have said embarrassing things on email and I didn’t want to be one of them," he said.
(credit:Andy King/AP)
Madeleine Shaw(09 of10)
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Celebrity nutritionist Madeleine Shaw tries to monitor her technology use, but like the rest of us, admits it isn't always easy.

"I do try and turn my phone off at 9pm and leave it in another room, because otherwise I could easily keep doing work and answering emails until 10.30pm at night," she told HuffPost UK Lifestyle."But it's tricky because in a way, I am my work, so I’m working all the time."
Benedict Cumberbatch (10 of10)
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Benedict Cumberbatch has a firm following of fans on social media, but the actor has a great way to make sure his time isn't taken up by the sites.

He simply refuses to have Twitter, Facebook, Instagram...ANY of them.

"I think if I did [tweet] you’d very soon be disappointed because it really is a skill - it’s a skill I genuinely don’t have," he said, according to the Radio Times."Just listen to how much I talk ... and tweeting is about being pithy.

"I think tweeting would take so many hours of editing I’d be lost for doing my job."
(credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)