How To Tell If Someone Is Lying To You

Henrik Sorensen via Getty Images

How many times have you told a fib today? According to Robert Feldman, author of The Liar In Your Life: The Way To Truthful Relationships, it’s probably more than you think.

Based on three decades of research into lying and everyday deception, one of Feldman’s most disconcerting findings was that new acquaintances will lie to each other about three times during the course of a ten minute conversation.

Although these little white lies are often told with the best of intentions – like saying “I’m fine” when really you’re having a terrible day or “I love your dress” when really you’re just trying to fill an awkward silence – Feldman suggests these everyday fibs can pave the way for bigger deceptions and breed a culture of dishonesty and mistrust.

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So, if lying is rife, how do we know when someone is trying to pull the wool over our eyes?

Many of us like to think we can just tell. When we suspect someone isn’t being straight with us, we narrow our eyes and scrutinise them – as though the more intently we watch them the more likely we’ll be to blow their cover and unveil the truth.

Conversely, many of the classic traits associated with lying could be sending us even further from the truth, according to consultant psychiatrist and HuffPost blogger, Dr Raj Persaud.

“One of the commonest mistakes is that liars increase their body movements – the famous shiftiness, gaze aversion and fidgeting of a dissembler,” he writes in his HuffPost blog.

“In fact scientific research on this demonstrates the opposite is more true, liars more often decrease their body movements and tend to hold your gaze.”

So, short of hooking up our suspect to a lie-detector machine, can we really spot a liar with our eyes alone?

Research suggests even a highly trained eye would have little more success at detecting the truth than someone taking a wild stab in the dark. A review of 39 scientific studies by Professor of Applied Social Psychology, Aldert Vrij, a world authority on the science of deception, reveals an average accuracy rate of just 56.6%.

But don’t sack your inner detective just yet. Although we might not be able to prove our partner has been cheating or our colleague stabbing us in the back, without the hard evidence to back it up, there are still a few clues that could help us in our quest for the truth.

In his book, Detecting Lies and Deceit: Pitfalls and Opportunities, Vrij outlines a number of psychological strategies that could help us become better lie detectors, such as the ‘baseline method’ and the ‘devil’s advocate question’.

Dr Sandi Mann, co-author of Would I Lie To You? and psychologist at the University of Central Lancashire, agrees that traditional traits we associate with liars could be leading us down the wrong path but also concurs there are alternative techniques that could prove more fruitful.

Read more about their findings and expert techniques below then be ready to test it out the next time your partner says he was “working late” or your daughter swears she’s done her homework...

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How To Tell When Someone's Lying

The 'Baseline' Method(01 of07)

In his book, Detecting Lies and Deceit: Pitfalls and Opportunities, Professor Aldert Vrij explains that when someone starts to stray from the truth certain emotional, cognitive and physiological processes kick in, which it is possible to detect. But these can only be spotted if you already have the ‘baseline’ of how someone behaves when they are telling the truth so you can compare how the behave when they are being truthful and compare that with their behaviour when they begin to lie.So, if you want to tell if someone is lying, ask them some unrelated questions first and see if their behaviour changes when you get to the real issues in question. (credit:Henrik Sorensen via Getty Images)

Devil's Advocate(02 of07)

Another psychological technique for better spotting lies pioneered by Professor Vrij and colleagues, 'Devil's Advocate' involves asking someone to argue in favour of something they believe in then asking them to play devil's advocate and argue against their view.As we aren't very good at giving reasons for a position we don't hold, most people aren't good at being a 'devil's advocate'. Liars, therefore, catch themselves out by offering fuller and better answers in response to being asked to be a devil's advocate than non-liars. Using this technique Professor Vrij and colleagues found 75% of truth tellers and 78% of liars could be classified correctly. (credit:Steve Debenport via Getty Images)

Take Things Out Of Sequence(03 of07)

According to psychologist and author of Would I Lie To You?, Sandi Mann, liars have an inability to tell a story in a non-linear way.She says: "This means that they can tell their fake tale from beginning to end, but struggle more if asked to tell it out of sync. Trap them by asking them about bits of the story in a different order and see if they struggle to answer you." (credit:Tara Moore via Getty Images)

Do They Say 'I' Or 'We'?(04 of07)

"In false accounts, people tend to drop the possessive and try to distance themselves from their account," says Mann in her HuffPost blog. "The I may become we. For example, 'I went to the pub with some lads - I didn't even speak to a girl!' might indicate more truth than 'we went to the pub - it was just a lads night out'." (credit:Audras via Getty Images)

Passive Vs Active(05 of07)

Mann suggests people use a passive rather than active voice when they are not telling the truth: "For example 'Tennis is one of Jane's favourite hobbies' (passive) rather than 'Jane loves playing tennis' (active). Passive tone can indicate that the liar is trying to distance themselves from their shifty tale (as might avoidance of the 'I' word above)." (credit:Joerg Steffens via Getty Images)

Repetition Of Common Words(06 of07)

Liars are more likely to repeat common words and phrases, according to Mann. "Liars have enough to concentrate on with remembering their lies, so they tend to resort to tried and tested phrases to reduce their 'cognitive load'," she says. "Thus, you might find that with increased questioning, they tell their story in exactly the same way; truth tellers are often more able to use variety in their verbal expressions." (credit:Peter Glass via Getty Images)

Incongruous Body Language(07 of07)

"Liars might say one thing but their body language or facial expression contradicts them," says Mann. "For example, saying 'yes, I love your new hairstyle' but with folded arms, slight shake of the head, and a toneless voice." (credit:moodboard - Mike Watson Images via Getty Images)

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