How To Wear Shorts And Not Look Like A Total Drongo

How To Wear Shorts And Not Look Like A Total Drongo
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Shorts are a menswear item fraught with peril. It's statistically near impossible to wear them without breaking some unwritten style rule in the process.

In reality anything goes - any form of short can actually look stylish provided the rest of your outfit's on point (except for camo shorts which officially died in 2006 along with cardigans and Crocs).

Here's how to wear them without people trying to take secret photos of you so they can laugh about it with their friends.

Note: it is also advisable to read this article instead of Googling 'men in shorts' because it turns out there's a lot of Tumblrs dedicated to the matter - including a lot more erect penises than we expected.

Shorts + a simple white tee = a failsafe summer outfit

Team with luxe sportswear for a get-up that works on and off your bike

Keep the look even more relaxed with a jumper tied round your waist

Or smarten things up with a nautical touch

Take inspiration from vintage tailoring

Don't be afraid to make a statement

Add a straw fedora and a pair of shades for instant Cuban gangster

Footwear wise you can't go wrong with shorts and plimsolls

When you're on the beach or poolside, anything goes

But remember, there is such a thing as too short

A Man’s Guide On How to Wear Shorts
Length(01 of07)
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The golden rule for men’s shorts length is an inch or two above the knee. For the average guy, they should be straight and appropriately tailored. (credit:Instagram/alexanderkenton)
Denim Cut-Offs(02 of07)
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The '70s trend may be in full bloom for 2015, but denim shorts are rarely flattering on men. It’s understandable; going DIY "Project Runway" on a worn out pair of jeans is a good way to save some money and the planet. Unfortunately, cut-offs are generally too short, too long or too tight -- especially when you make them out of an old pair of skinny jeans. They’re most certainly too informal for events, a date or work, so maybe just reserve them for lazing around the cottage or mowing the lawn. (credit:Instagram/cass_45)
Formality(03 of07)
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From Commes des Garcons to Topman, fashion houses are offering a growing variety of short suits. If you don’t want to sink some funds into one of those though, just make sure your shorts are an appropriate colour (i.e. not camo or cargo khaki) and pair them with a button-up or polo. You could even add a cardigan for extra preppy pizzazz. (credit:Instagram/jaimetoutcheztoi)
Colour(04 of07)
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Unless you’re serving in active combat or a retiree, avoid camo and khaki. Otherwise, all is fair in love and shorts. (credit:Instagram/alkarus)
Socks And Sandals(05 of07)
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As noted in ID’s recent Milan Fashion Week review, socks and sandals are one of the biggest trends of 2015 and it doesn’t look like they’ll be going anywhere in 2016. If you’re thinking about rocking this #normcore style yourself, pair it with shorts with a hemline above the knee. Anything much lower and it shrinks your calves, giving you the appearance of an extremely fashionable hobbit. (credit:Instagram/danylcg)
Who Wears Short Shorts?(06 of07)
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I’m a fan of short shorts, but that being said, they’re not for everybody. The Guardian recently put out a brilliant piece on why some men have such a problem with short shorts. As a great philosopher once said, “Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate.” (credit:Instagram/mybelonging)
Bermudas(07 of07)
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From Acne to Zara, the hottest menswear shorts trend of 2015 has been bermudas. They go below the knee and have a wide, A-line flare. It seems for 2015, it’s go big or go home. (credit:Instagram/sirsargent)