An essential guide to cheeseboard etiquette(01 of11)
Open Image ModalTake care to follow everyone else in using the same knife for the same cheese – no one wants Stinking Bishop on their Tomme de Montagne.
Being asked a question while you’re eating(02 of11)
Open Image ModalNod ponderously as if weighing up the question before answering, while you are in fact thinking only of getting the food down as quickly as you can.
Equally hard to give as to receive(03 of11)
Open Image ModalThe not-so-secret anxiety of Secret Santa – You receive alcohol. Secretly you’re quite pleased, but then you worry that everyone thinks you are so dull and insular that they just couldn’t think of anything interesting to get you.
How to encourage guests to leave(04 of11)
Open Image ModalIf you’re caught out by a lingering guest or group of guests you don’t know that well, the trick is to disrupt the atmosphere. The most effective way to do this is to stand up and hover.
How to pull a well-ie(05 of11)
Open Image ModalSome key phrases to maximize your martyr status when pulling a ‘well-ie’: ‘Got to soldier on’, ‘it’s only a bit of a cold’, ‘there’s just no time to be ill these days, is there?’
Over pronouncing foreign-language words(06 of11)
Open Image ModalThe point, of course, is to show that you’re a cosmopolitan, and not an insular British person.
The Art of Being Middle Class(07 of11)
Open Image ModalThe curious attraction of other people’s shower gel(08 of11)
Open Image ModalOn exiting the bathroom, it’s very MC to comment on the lovely handwash, shower gel, or whatever it is you’ve used.
The reclining seat(09 of11)
Open Image ModalAs the agonized MC traveler, you must of course say nothing. Consider it an important mind and body endurance challenge. You’ll be a better middle-classer for it.
What to do when people start talking over you(10 of11)
Open Image ModalOffer to swap seats with one of them.
Where to sit in a car when travelling with other people(11 of11)
Open Image ModalIf there are two middle class couples, they will separate i.e. Wife A sits with Husband B and Wife B with Husband A.