Toilet seats we can understand. Even bath mats are logical.
But what the hell is urine doing on your furniture?
A new survey by Guardsman (they clean people's furniture) found that wee is the most common stain, followed by vomit. (But at least the latter makes sense in a house party/pub night context).
They compiled the data over three years, and found that red wine, chocolate and milk are some of the most common food stains. People with kids tended to have play-dough, silly putty and paint marking their furniture.
Also - gross alert - some findings included bird droppings, slug trails, animal and human excrement, semen and even blood from dogs in season.
Even more worrying - the fifth most common stain was an ‘unidentifiable stain’. Our imaginations are running riot.
How to get rid of red wine stains on furniture:
Ingrid Johnson, Professor and Assistant Chairperson of Textile Development and Marketing at Fashion Institute Of Technology (FIT) says:
1. Salt is the best option for cleaning up freshly-spilled red wine.
The solution holds true for bedspreads, curtains, couches and other home items, which all "absorb slowly," making it easier to get the wet stain out. If the item is made of cotton, hot water is enough to do the trick, according to Johnson.
2. Oxi products are the best thing for getting out old, dried stains.
"Old or set in stains from wine can be more of a challenge," says Johnson. But it is possible to get dried wine stains out. She recommends saturating the area with hot water, applying a pre-treatment and then letting any oxi product -- usually a combination of granules and water -- "work its magic" for anywhere from 2 to 10 hours.
3. You shouldn't use white wine to clean up spills.
Johnson shoots this home remedy myth down. "In both cases the stain is essentially fruit juice and not matter how clear the white wine seems, it has color from the fruit," she adds.
Cleaning With Foods
Banana Peel(01 of14)
Open Image ModalUse a banana peel to polish your silverware -- blend the peels with a little bit of water to make a polishing paste. (credit:Jupiterimages)
Cucumber(02 of14)
Open Image ModalUse cucumber slices to polish stainless steel pots, pans or your faucet and sink. Also use it to remove marks from walls -- it works like an eraser. (credit:Getty Images)
Onions(03 of14)
Open Image ModalGet your grill piping hot and use an onion half (stuck onto the prongs of a long-handled fork) to scrub the grates clean. (credit:Getty Images)
Tea(04 of14)
Open Image ModalUse your used tea bags (cooled) to clean wood surfaces like cabinets and floors and use the cooled tea as a polish -- the tea's tannins do all the work of cleaning. (credit:Getty Images)
Walnuts(05 of14)
Open Image ModalUse a walnut half to remove scratches from wood cabinetry or furniture -- its natural oils help lift scratches. (credit:Getty Images)
Rice(06 of14)
Open Image ModalUse a small amount of rice to clean out your coffee grinder -- just whizz and dump. (credit:Getty Images)
Ketchup(07 of14)
Open Image ModalUse ketchup to polish all kinds of copper: pots, pans and bowls. The natural acidity of the tomatoes will make the copper shine. (credit:alamy)
Stale Bread(08 of14)
Open Image ModalUse stale bread to clean your spice grinder or coffee grinder -- it will remove any leftover residue and smell. (credit:Getty Images)
Coffee Grinds(09 of14)
Open Image ModalUse used coffee grinds as a hand scrub or a cleaning scrub for greasy surfaces. You can also use the grinds to deodorize your fridge. (credit:Corbis)
Club Soda(10 of14)
Open Image ModalUse club soda to remove stains from fabrics and carpeting. It's also great for cleaning your cast-iron skillet -- just pour some into your hot skillet after cooking and let it work its magic. (credit:Schweppes)
Olive Oil(11 of14)
Open Image ModalUse olive oil to buff your stainless steel pots and pans. Also use it to clean your cast-iron skillet -- make a paste with some coarse salt and scrub. (credit:Getty Images)
Salt(12 of14)
Open Image ModalCoarse salt is great as a natural scouring agent. Use it to scrub your wood cutting board (with a lemon half). Pour some table salt onto an oven spill to make it easier to clean up later. Table salt also works to lift a fresh wine stain from a tablecloth -- wash the fabric soon after. (credit:Corbis)
Lemon(13 of14)
Open Image ModalThe natural acidity of lemons is great for cleaning. Use a lemon half to clean and remove stains from your wood cutting board and use it to polish your copper (with some baking soda). It also works to remove lime scale from your kitchen faucet. Put a lemon half down your garbage disposal to deodorize.
Vinegar(14 of14)
Open Image ModalWhite vinegar can be used as an all-purpose surface cleaner -- for tough cleaning use it straight but for general cleaning halve it with water. Also use vinegar to remove water stains from glasses. (credit:Getty Images)