7 Important Things People With Depression Want You To Know | HuffPost Life

7 Things People With Depression Want You To Know

Natasha Hinde— The Huffington Post UK

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Depression is the most common mental health issue in the UK. Around the world, it affects an estimated 350 million people.

With this in mind, it's surprising how behind we are - as a nation (and globally, too) - in our knowledge of what depression actually is and how it can affect people.

With stigma of mental health in the workplace being a huge issue - just look at the Time To Change campaign if you need further proof - it's no surprise that those who suffer from depression sometimes get frustrated by the widespread lack of knowledge surrounding the illness.

To tackle the problem head on, here are seven incredibly important things that people with depression want you to know.

1) Depression is not a stereotype. Anybody can have it

In her blog post on coping with depression as a teen, Elise Jamison writes: "Anyone can have depression - from celebrities, to hairstylists, to that guy next to you in algebra. It isn't just the gloomy kids.

"This illness is pervasive and the amount of misconception is astounding."

2) It is not "sadness"

Tayana Simons writes that one of the biggest misconceptions of depression is when people think it's "extreme sadness".

"In my experience depression is very different from sadness. It is the absence of feeling.

"When you are sad you feel something. Sadness can be a release. Grieving over the loss of something helps you to come to terms with it, feel the emotion and move on," she says.

"Depression is a loss of emotion, the very thing that makes us human. It is a state of limbo in which everything you have ever known no longer makes sense or has a purpose."

3) Depression is not something you can relate to

Blogging for HuffPost UK, Jamie Flexman says that depression is not relatable: "How many of you have a tail? You know, like a monkey. If you haven't (which I hope is everyone), can you imagine what it is like to grip a branch or maybe just swing it back and forth? It's impossible isn't it?

"Depression is similar to that. If it's something that you have never experienced then you can try as hard as you want, but you will never truly know what it feels like."

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4) Don't assume people with depression want to talk about it

"One of the most challenging symptoms of depression for those around you, is that you don't want to talk about it," writes Tayana Simons.

"In truth, you don't know what is wrong, and when people ask you, trying to explain it makes you feel foolish and guilty for wasting their time.

"The benefit of hindsight allows you to see that things can, and do, change, but when you are in the middle of that valley you can't see over the mountains to any kind of horizon."

5) You can't just "snap out of it"

Offering an insight into what depression feels like from a sufferer's perspective, Jamie Flexman writes: "When depression has its grip on you, life becomes water. The air around you becomes water, crushing you with its weight and even the simplest tasks become difficult. You feel sluggish, both mentally and physically and nothing can snap you out of it."

He adds: "You have essentially become trapped inside your own prison and true access to your brain lies behind that locked door. Sometimes, briefly, you are allowed outside to stretch your legs but you know this is temporary.

"Eventually you will have to return to your cell and wait patiently for a time when you are given another opportunity to function like a normal member of society."

6) If someone with depression has a "good day", it doesn't mean they no longer have depression

Danny Baker blogs on HuffPost UK that when people with depression have a "good day", people assume that it means they no longer suffer from the illness.

"People with depression can have 'good' days where they don't feel depressed - indeed, they can have days where they even feel happy," he writes.

"But it's a mistake to assume that just because they feel good one day, that they're no longer sick and therefore should feel good every day.

"Depression just doesn't work like that."

7) It doesn't last forever

"Like even the fiercest of storms, with the right help and support, it will pass eventually," writes Tayana Simons.

"Although you may never be the same as you were before, you will be a new you, stronger and more self aware.

"The biggest lesson that I ever learnt was to let people help me, even when it felt like the most unnatural thing to do."

The Facts About Depression Symptoms

Negative Feelings (01 of15)

Do you have persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness that have lingered for at least two weeks and occur throughout the day, every day or nearly every day? Are these feelings interfering with school or work, or your relationships? This is a key symptom of clinical depression. We all have negative thoughts from time to time, and it’s natural to be sad when there is a serious event in our lives, like a death. The difference with clinical depression is that the feelings stick around and interfere with your ability to live your life day to day. (credit:Shuji Kobayashi via Getty Images)

Fatigue(02 of15)

Many people with depression find it difficult to get out of bed — and we're not just talking about hitting the snooze button. For some, getting up seems nearly impossible. They may also find themselves spending unusual amounts of time in bed throughout the day, or having trouble with normal activities because of fatigue. (credit:digitalskillet via Getty Images)

Changes In Sleeping Patterns (03 of15)

As tired as you may be, if you’re depressed you might also have trouble sleeping. Marked changes in sleeping patterns, like insomnia or increased time spent sleeping, is another symptom of clinical depression. (credit:Casarsa via Getty Images)

Changes In Appetite (04 of15)

Some people either gain or lose weight when they have clinical depression because of their change in appetite. For some, this means an increase in appetite and possibly weight gain as a result. Others lose their appetite and struggle to eat much at all. In either case, a significant change is worth investigating. (credit:Sami Sarkis via Getty Images)

Loss Of Interest In Fun Activities (05 of15)

We all have times when we feel a bit more introverted than usual, but when people have clinical depression, they can lose the sense of pleasure they used to get from their favourite activities or from engaging with others. This isolation can make it harder for friends and loved ones to see the other symptoms of depression a person may be exhibiting, which makes it more difficult to know when a person needs help. (credit:David Ryle via Getty Images)

Difficulty Concentrating (06 of15)

It’s more often thought of as a symptom of ADHD, but an inability to concentrate or hold focus on one’s activities can be a sign of clinical depression. Of course, if someone with clinical depression is also having trouble sleeping, not eating well or has lost interest in regular activities, this symptom can be amplified. (credit:kieferpix via Getty Images)

Suicidal Thoughts (07 of15)

This is the most serious symptom of depression, says Dr. Joe Taravella, a psychologist and the supervisor of Rusk’s Pediatric Psychology Service at NYU-Langone Medical Center in New York. “When you’re severely depressed, suicidal thoughts can become so prominent, you begin to make a plan for ending your life, as you feel there are no other options.” If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, seek help or tell a trusted person in your life and ask for help — call your doctor, call 911, or go to an emergency room. And never assume that a person who talks about suicide won’t do it. If someone tells you they are feeling suicidal or discusses plans to end their life, always take it seriously and get help. (credit:AlexRaths via Getty Images)

Chronic Irritability (08 of15)

“Many people don’t realize that low levels of chronic irritability and anger can mask an underlying depression,” Taravella says, “which can be undiagnosed and untreated for years.” A study released last year found that more than half of men and women who were experiencing a major depressive episode reported irritability as a symptom. Constant irritability is also a symptom of depression seen in teenagers and children, one that could be written off as normal growing pains or teenage behaviour. (credit:Thomas Barwick via Getty Images)

Physical Pain(09 of15)

Yes, depression can literally hurt. There is increasing recognition of the physical symptoms of depression, which include headaches, stomach pain, and back pain. One study found half of patients with depression from around the world reported unexplained physical symptoms. But because these physical symptoms are often vague or have no logical explanation, they can be missed as as symptom of depression. (credit:JGI/Jamie Grill via Getty Images)

Lack Of Daily Hygiene (10 of15)

For people with severe depression, basic tasks of self care can seem too overwhelming to undertake, Taravella says. As well, personal hygiene may seem unimportant if you are feeling hopeless or worthless. If someone in your life is showing a marked decrease in personal hygiene, don’t assume they are simply lazy. (credit:Canonzoom via Getty Images)

Memory Problems (11 of15)

Going along with trouble with concentration, people with clinical depression often have memory issues that can add to their difficulties in maintaining day-to-day activities. “As a result of these symptoms, they are more likely to become inattentive to their environment and prone to falls and injuries,” he adds. A 2013 study found that this could be because clinical depression impairs the process of “pattern separation,” which is the ability to distinguish between things and experiences that are similar. (credit:Simon Winnall via Getty Images)

Harmful Activities (12 of15)

Some people who show signs of depression engage in what Taravella refers to as “externalizing behaviours,” which include substance abuse and risk-taking activities. Men are more likely to do it, he says. These behaviours can be a sign of an underlying mental-health problem, particularly if they’re out of the ordinary for the individual. (credit:Daniel Grizelj via Getty Images)

If You Think You Have Symptoms Of Depression (13 of15)

“If you recognize symptoms of depression, take action and immediately seek professional help,” Taravella advises. There are valuable resources out there, he says, including psychotherapy and antidepressants. Many people also find some relief with meditation and exercise, often in conjunction with other treatments. It can be difficult to navigate the process of finding the right help, especially if you are having trouble just getting out of bed. Try talking to a trusted friend or family member who can help you research options and even call a therapist for you. (credit:Paul Bradbury via Getty Images)

Once You Start Your Treatment(14 of15)

It can take time for depression treatments to start making a difference, which is frustrating when you've taken the difficult step of admitting you need help. But while you work on medication and/or therapy, there are things you can do. Be as active as you can, Taravella says, and try to see friends. “Create small goals for yourself each week but don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself,” he suggests. While it can take time for depression symptoms to begin to lift, it may be worth seeking different treatment options if you are not seeing any improvement after two months. (credit:moodboard via Getty Images)

How To Help Someone With Depression (15 of15)

“The best way to help someone who is depressed is to be a constant source of support for them,” Taravella says. This can sometimes be difficult, however, because people with depression tend to isolate themselves despite your efforts to stay in touch and/or get involved. You may also be able to help someone by making a doctor’s appointment for them. It’s a simple task to request an appointment, but for someone who is severely depressed it can seem incredibly daunting. (credit:PeopleImages.com via Getty Images)

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