Most of us have had that terrible, haunting moment when we mistakenly sat on the toilet, only to realise as the cold porcelain hit our bottom, that the lid hasn't been put down.
Take that moment, and multiply it by your entire lifetime, and you'll have some idea of what Reddit user JayDogSmith has been doing his entire life.
First reported by Uproxx, Mr DogSmith posted this to the Reddit's TIFU (Today I Fucked Up) thread:
So I'm hoping a load of people are going to come out in support of me here but I've got that sinking feeling I may be alone in this.
Our toilet broke so I was in shopping for new ones and the sales person joked (no doubt for the millionth time) that I'll want one that automatically puts the seat down after I'm finished with it. I 'joked' back and said if I didn't have a wife I could save money and not buy one with a seat and I'd never have to hear women complaining about putting it down again. To which he gave me a strange look and said "but what about when you need to poop?" I naturally pointed out that I'm a guy and therefore don't put the seat down, I sit on the rim of the bowl. Several embarrassing moments later, I realize that I've misunderstood my entire life and that guys do indeed use the toilet seat. I left empty handed and red faced.
Thinking about it now, it makes sense. Especially how men's restrooms have seats. But I just assumed it was a unisex/cost saving/oversight deal.
Words fail us. But they didn't fail the people commenting on his thread, who said:
"Oh my god, you mean you've been sitting on the actual toilet rim your whole life? Ugh, that's gross and hilarious."
"How he hasn't fallen in is what I want to know."
"You poor bastard. But, seriously, did you ever think, "Wow, this porcelain is cold, and sometimes wet and caked with dried piss. And I have to spend extraordinary effort to not hit the water with my ass and balls. What could I use to get around some of these obstacles? If only they made a toilet seat for dudes...""
Cool loos you can use: Top 10 public toilets worth talking about
Graben Toilets, Vienna, Austria(01 of10)
Open Image ModalMount McKinley Toilet, Alaska, United States(02 of10)
Open Image ModalHundertwasser Public Toilets, Kawakawa, New Zealand(03 of10)
Open Image ModalPop-Up Toilets, Europe(04 of10)
Open Image ModalDaimaru Department Store, Tokyo, Japan(05 of10)
Open Image ModalFrom the folks who brought us Toto, one of the world’s high-end toilet brands, come the commodes of the Daimaru Department Store. The public bathrooms here are outfitted with — you guessed it — Toto toilets. The shopping destination has 13 floors, each of which has its own bathroom designed to match the floor’s atmosphere. These aren’t your standard toilets, though. They have everything from heated seats to sound effects (to mask typical bathroom noises), and they feature a self-cleaning mechanism, complete with temperature-controlled water. (credit:Flickr:{Amy_Jane})
Public Bathroom, Chongqing, China(06 of10)
Open Image ModalChung Yo Department Store Bathrooms, Taichung City, Taiwan(07 of10)
Open Image ModalGlass Bathrooms at Downtown Square, Sulphur Springs, Texas, United States(08 of10)
Open Image ModalRothesay’s Victorian Toilets, Isle of Bute, Scotland(09 of10)
Open Image ModalThe men’s restroom on Rothesay Pier was commissioned by Rothesay Harbour Trust in 1899. Retaining its Victorian-era charm, the bathroom is covered in elaborate ceramic tile work and features white enamel urinals topped with marble — 14 of them line the walls and six more act as a centerpiece of sorts — circling a stand in the middle of the room. The crest of the Royal Burgh of Rothesay sits at the restroom entrance. Much of the equipment, which originally came from Twyfords Ltd. Glasgow, is still here. The lavatory was restored in the 1990s and, at that time, showers, women’s toilets, as well as facilities that cater to children and people with disabilities were added. (credit:Flickr:timniblett)
Urquiza Public Toilets, Rosario, Argentina(10 of10)
Open Image ModalSituated within Urquiza, a public park in Rosario, these toilets are part of a multi-use facility featuring a sitting area and playground. The toilets, which rest underneath a busy street, are reached by ramp or staircase. You could say this is another well placed washroom — it’s an extension of the Espacio Once bar, making it a one-stop-shop for both beverages and bathroom breaks. Sustainability was a key factor in the creation of these toilets, which were designed by architect Diego Jobell. The bathrooms feature a green, grass-covered roof, cement surfaces that are easy to wash and galvanized sheet iron stall doors to deter vandals. (credit:Flickr:federicocristina)