When the story of Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi's "playful tiff" broke, there was much speculation as to what was going on behind the scenes.
However, what's far harder is to know how to act when we witness (or think we witness) such a situation first-hand.
Sandra Horley CBE, chief executive of national domestic violence charity Refuge, told HuffPost UK Lifestyle: "Research shows that the vast majority of domestic violence incidents are perpetrated by men against women.
"Many violent men are careful to hide their behaviour, only abusing their partners behind closed doors. But some commit violence in public, and, all too often, people turn a blind eye - allowing the abuse to continue.
“If anyone witnesses domestic violence, they should call the police. Domestic violence is a serious crime. It has no place in our so-called civilised society."
Polly Neate, chief executive of national domestic violence charity Women’s Aid, adds: "If you suspect a friend or family member is experiencing domestic violence, it can be hard to know what to say or do.
"They may not want to talk about it right now, but let her know you've noticed something's wrong. Encourage her to talk to you and let her know that you’ll believe her. If she doesn't want to, wait and try to find another quiet time to raise the subject later on."
Here some more practical suggestions on how you could help from London-based charity NIA -- dedicated to preventing violence against women and children -- and Sussex Domestic Abuse Charity RISE...
How To Help A Victim Of Domestic Abuse
Let Her Know You Care(01 of11)
Open Image ModalNIA suggests: "She needs to know that you’re there for her, that you will support her. Don’t criticise the decisions that she’s made. Remind her that she’s not alone, domestic violence affects one in four women in their lives. "Remind her that it’s not her fault, that she isn’t responsible. Also it isn’t her responsibility to make him change or make him stop."Rise adds: "Believe the person, don't say 'Really? They seem so nice.' Say things like 'I believe you' 'this isn't your fault.'Don't say 'why didn't you say something sooner' as that is blaming a 'victim.' It doesn't matter when they tell, just that they do. Say things like 'I am pleased you've told me.'" (credit:Alamy)
Let Her Know You're Concerned(02 of11)
Open Image ModalNIA says: "it can be really difficult to see that you’re in an abusive relationship, as women often minimise or excuse what is happening to them or find ways to think it’s their fault. It’s also hard to tell someone else, so don’t wait for your friend to ask you for help. Ask her, let her know that you’re concerned, that you know something is wrong."Rise UK add: "Being direct can help as it takes the responsibility away from the survivor, they will know what you are asking, rather than trying to guess form an ambigious question. 'Are you experiencing abuse?' might also help a survivor feel safe that they can disclose to you; you aren't afraid of what might come out." (credit:Alamy)
Support Her(03 of11)
Open Image ModalWomen's Aid says: "Tell her that no one deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what her abuser has told her. Nothing she does or says justifies the abuser's behaviour." (credit:Alamy)
Acknowledge Her Situation(04 of11)
Open Image ModalWomen's Aid says: "Acknowledge that it takes strength to talk to someone about experiencing abuse. Give her time to talk, but don't push her to talk if she doesn't want to."Acknowledge that she is in a frightening and difficult situation." (credit:Alamy)
Have Courage(05 of11)
Open Image ModalDon’t be afraid to broach difficult questions. Is she safe? Is she afraid? Two women a week are killed in the UK. Domestic violence is serious. (credit:Alamy)
Don't Make Things Worse(06 of11)
Open Image ModalCall The Police(07 of11)
Open Image Modal"If you witness a violent incident, call the police," say NIA.Rise adds: "Be aware that doing things; preparing to leave or reporting to the police (etc) can increase risk to survivor and consider how that can be managed; make plans together, have a code word, inform the police, and contact local specialist services." (credit:Alamy)
Find Out What She Wants(08 of11)
Open Image ModalDon't Give Up(09 of11)
Open Image ModalFinally, don’t give up on her if she doesn’t tell you the first time you ask, or if she doesn’t leave or returns to a violence relationship. Abusers break down our self-confidence.Women often make several attempt to leave a violent and abusive relationship before they make the final break. She isn’t being weak, she being strong and brave and trying to escape. You might be her lifeline. (credit:Alamy)
Don't Lecture Her(10 of11)
Open Image Modal"Don't tell her to leave the relationship if she isn’t ready. That's her decision," say Women's Aid. (credit:Alamy)
Medical Support(11 of11)
Open Image ModalAsk if she has suffered physical harm. If so, offer to go with her to a hospital or GP. (credit:Alamy)
Women’s Aid also have a webpage with advice for friends and family that individuals might find helpful, as a specialist organisation can make sure a victim understands the options she has and help her make a safety plan.
But of course, not all victims of domestic abuse are women.
Mark Brooks, chairman of The ManKind Initiative (a charity that supports male victims of domestic abuse and violence) told HuffPost UK Lifestyle that friends should shake off any notion that only women are victims -- as one in three victims are male.
"One key area is that if a victim opens up, they must be believed as the fear of not being believed is a real barrier for male victims. If the friend shows any wavering in not believing their friend, this increases the likelihood that they will not tell anyone," he said.
More resources
- National Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247
- Rape Crisis Helpline: 0808 802 9999/Rapecrisis.org