Woman Explains Why The ‘Fat Friend’ Stereotype Is Utter Bullsh*t

'I was never the girl who sat inside.'

A body confidence coach has called time on stereotypes relating to our boy type, saying people should never make assumptions about someone based on their size.

Michelle Elman, 23, said she’s been labelled as the “fat friend” in friendship groups since she was 11 years old, but she doesn’t abide by the stereotype in any way.

“There’s a stereotype around being the ‘fat girl’ in a friendship group,” she said on Instagram.

“She’s the one who sits on the sidelines and never joins in. She’s the one perpetually single and sits silently while all her friends discuss their love life because God forbid, if she actually found a boyfriend, she would never be comfortable naked or in the bedroom. She’s the insecure one, the one constantly complaining about her body and talking about diets.

“I couldn’t call bullshit more on this stereotype.”

Elman, who’s previously blogged on HuffPost UK about embracing her body following surgery scarring, said she’s never identified with the “fat friend” stereotype.

“Even with all my insecurities around my scars, and my body in general, I was never the girl who sat inside,” she said.

Elman, from London, posted the photo alongside a video of herself jumping into a lake.

She said when she was younger, she may have been “reluctant” about stripping off in front of friends, but now she’s body confident and is the one “suggesting photos”. 

“I was the first to whip off my top and the thought that my body was ‘different’ wasn’t there,” she said.

“The fact that I know many girls, fat or skinny, would miss out on opportunities like this is what fuels my body positivity.

“Body positivity isn’t about being able to take underwear selfies, it’s about not letting your underwear or your swimsuit be the reason you aren’t taking part.”

She finished her post by explaining that good friends should never make you feel aware of what you look like.

“Ultimately, when you are around the right people, you won’t ever feel like the ‘fat friend,’” she said.

“I don’t look at these pictures and see me as the odd one out. I look at the pictures and see the memories and the three bodies that we had fun in.” 

Elman’s post has been liked more than 5,000 times, with hundreds of people thanking her for spreading a positive message. 

“Thank you for this. Just what I needed to read tonight. You are so badass and such an inspiration,” one user said. 

Another added: “This is amazing. I’ve been feeling like THAT girl for so long, it’s nice to know that there’s another way.”

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Model Ashley Graham refuses to be defined by her size."It’s fantastic when I’m not labeled as a plus size model in any interview or editorial I do," she told HuffPost UK Style."It makes a statement for women out there, 'look she’s not being described by her size, she’s being honoured by the things that she’s doing in the world'." (credit:Andy Kropa /Invision/AP)
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