11/05/2014 18:49 BST | Updated 11/07/2014 06:59 BST

Ten Things Highly Confident People Don't Do

Let's get it straight here, highly confident people are regular people with flaws, shortcomings and defects. Like all of us they experience challenges and bad days, however because they have self- confidence, they don't let any of this hold them back.

However highly confident people have self confidence and believe in their ability to achieve.

I used to confuse confidence with being egotistical. HUGE difference. Highly confident people show up, but they don't show off.

When I was a struggling actress way back and lost belief in myself. Someone highly confident and highly well-known said to me: "Here's the thing, you have to believe in yourself, no matter how many rejections, setbacks and obstacles you experience... As, if you don't believe in yourself, why would anyone else believe in you?"

Here's ten things highly confident people don't do.

1. They Don't Compare and Despair

Highly confident people are aware that each one of us is unique and so they never expend time comparing themselves to others. They don't ponder on drawing comparisons as to them that is a futile exercise.

2. They Don't People-Please

Highly confident people know that they will never please everyone so they don't even attempt to. They check in on their motives and intentions before saying yes. They know if they say yes when they mean no they are being dishonest and seeking approval and external validation.

3. They Don't Rehearse to be Someone Else

Highly confident people have self-acceptance. They don't always like everything about themselves, but they do have the courage to be authentic. Paradoxically, those who are inauthentic are often misguided in thinking that they will be rejected if they reveal their true self... Who wants to bid for a fake? Isn't the real deal more valuable.?

4. They Don't Defend, Justify and Waffle

Highly confident people are comfortable expressing how they feel. They do not feel obliged to justify, defend or explain their reasoning. They know their rights, feel worthy, important and deserving. They are willing to be open and to compromise as they don't have a sense of entitlement always expecting to get their own way.

5. They Don't Need Constant Assurance From Others

Highly confident people know self-belief is the main pillar of success and have indestructible self-belief. They feel worthy of success, happiness and prosperity.

6. They Don't Point the Finger of Blame

Highly confident people take responsibility for their own lives. They know that they have to be accountable for their life as self-responsibility is the foundation of empowerment.

7. They Don't Spend Time With Negative People

Highly confident people understand only too well who they associate with they emulate. They are not unkind or rude to negative people but they won't jump into the ring with them. They surround themselves with positive people.

8. They Don't Gossip

Highly confident people know that gossip can be damaging to relationships and that it generally comes from fear, displaced anger or jealousy and that the perpetrator is often seeking others' agreement and validation when they gossip.

9. They Don't Procrastinate

Highly confident people focus on taking the first step as by doing so they change their mental state from resistant to a state of positivity and openness, a state where although they may not be hugely enthusiastic about taking the next step after the first one they accept it needs to be taken, so they take the next step and the next one after that.

10. They Don't Allow Others to Control Them

Highly confident people are their own master and are best friends with their inner voice. They are comfortable being in charge of what they think, do and say, as they trust themselves. They ask for guidance, support and often flesh things out with advisers, coaches, and mentors but at the end of the day they trust their intuition as they know it will never let them down.

Annie Ashdown is author of best-seller 'The Confidence Factor - 7 Secrets of Successful People'

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