Some men are trustworthy.
Some men are not.
It's amazing how many female clients and colleagues I encounter who are highly intelligent, beautiful, kind, smart, witty and bright yet they get so easily duped by players.
Players know how to say the right things, how to hook you by telling you want they think you want to hear. Generally if you say No to sex they loose interest pretty fast in you. However some will hang around feeding you all the right lines, then if you cave in they will rapidly lose interest as they are addicted to the chase not you.
It is therefore essential to distinguish between the 'players' and the 'stayers' . There is not one woman in the world who would admit she likes being played.
I interviewed 100 men aged 20 - 50 for my debut book Doormat Nor Diva Be and this article is base don what I learned from them.
Here are 15 signs he might be a player.
He has girls all over his social media page.
He turns his phone off nights when he isn't seeing you
He always arrives late and never has a valid reason.
He seems uneasy when he is with you and his phone rings.
He doesn't articulate what his intentions are with you.
He doesn't introduce you to his friends.
He talks a good talk but doesn't walk the talk.
He doesn't seem that interested in understanding your moods, feelings or thoughts.
He is non committal about planning ahead.
He pushes for sex on the first date.
He calls and text all hours of the night.
He is self obsessed and doesn't ask about your life, needs or wants.
He has little interest in getting to know your friends or family.
He won't see you more than twice a week.
Often players text obsessively and then they withdraw and you don't hear from them for days. They also feel they have the right to call you or text at last minute to meet up.
Take my advice. - Stand your ground and don't be pressurised into sex too early. Do not be the fall back girl - I suggest you say ' I would prefer you ask me to make plans in advance, last minute invites are not my speed'. If you have been on multiple dates with him and he is happy to plan ahead and you feel he is really into you, then by all means go on an impulsive date every now and then.
Watch out for the text saying 'thinking of you' or 'how was your day' whilst not committing to making plans as what do these texts mean? They are meaningless, so don't get hooked.
No one is too busy to follow up or to make plans if they really want to. Regardless of it you are the prime minister or you work as a cashier in Tesco, you still have the same amount of hours in a day - 24!
Do not start minimising, denying or altering his behaviour, let consequences fall where they belong. If you don't know where you stand with him, ask him in a rational, sane, calm way.
Don't go with what your friends or family say, go with YOUR gut.
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