I'm beginning to notice how remarkably uncomfortable it can make some people when someone speaks highly or positively about themselves.
I have recently given myself praise and received sarcastic remarks that indicates maybes I'm full of myself on more than one occasion. Don't get me wrong these people are not reacting with malice; it's just unusual for someone to be speaking fondly of themselves. It's awkward for them and they don't quite know where to put themselves. It would seem that it's socially unacceptable to be kind to/proud of yourself. However putting yourself down to others is totally fine, accepted and normal. I'm sorry but how utterly backwards is that?
After years of self-loathing, feeling that I had no redeeming qualities, nothing important to say and wanting to shrink in every way possible so as to be feel accepted in this world - I got tired. Exhausted in fact of trying not to stand out for fear of judgement but at the same time be interesting, cool or whatever the hell I thought people wanted me to be.
So at the start of 2016 I made a promise to myself to cut out the negative self-talk and just be unapologetically me. I have literally wasted YEARS of my life trying to fit in or to be someone else and now that I'm discovering who I am, I rather like myself. I am kind, I stand up for what I believe in, and I'm honest, loyal, caring and absolutely hilarious! The list goes on!
I could allow the uncomfortable reactions I'm getting from people to eat away at me, allow my insecurities to force me to believe I should shrink and hide away once again.
Not an effin' chance!
I know reading this will make some of you shake your head or roll your eyes but ask yourself why? You may be thinking I love myself, that I'm blowing my own trumpet and you know what? Yeah! I totally am and why the hell not? I am still humble; I would never put anyone down to feel good about myself, in fact encouraging others to feel good about themselves makes me feel good about myself. It's a love train that I'm going to ride every day on my commute to awesome town!
If I write a great piece or like my new hair cut there is absolutely nothing wrong with me saying just that. If feeling that way is only acceptable when I've received a compliment then that would mean I was awaiting validation from others. I don't need that permission.
Where does it say that we have to hate ourselves? Where does it say we have to act/look a certain way to please the eyes of others? Absolutely nowhere, that counts.
The only way to turn this around is positive remarks! The more we hear them from others about their selves and speak them of ourselves, the more normal it will become. If everyone talked about the things they liked about themselves from the beginning then we wouldn't be in this world of social validation. Body shaming and bullying would fall on deaf ears.
So I'm going to start with me as that's all I have influence over at the moment. I will make this my fearless year yet!
The world might not be ready or comfortable for me to love myself but I totally am!