THE BLOG
28/10/2015 13:12 GMT | Updated 27/10/2016 06:12 BST

SPECTRE - The Ghosts Of Bonds Past

At one point, the villain tells Bond that the elaborate torture he is about to carry out will take away his memories. He then carries out the torture - with no effect. Yet this is never mentioned! That torture machine must have cost a fortune, I hope he kept the receipt.

Well, it's no Quantum of Solace or even Skyfall (the critic's favourite for some reason) but for me SPECTRE came so close to being great that it's more annoying than if it were completely awful.

For James Bond fans, such as myself, it is jam-packed with references to other Bond movies including Live and Let Die, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, From Russia With Love... in fact there's a nod to most of them somewhere. The problem is, this just reminds you how good those older ones were.

Daniel Craig looks dark, moody and really uncomfortable. Each of his 'love scenes' are incredibly awkward - as though he is on a first date and can't believe he's scored. Which of course is more or less the case. I always believed Sean Connery and Roger Moore enjoyed their time with the ladies on screen, Daniel Craig however looks as though he's impatiently waiting for the director to say 'cut'.

And what of the director himself? There's no doubt Sam Mendes can shoot beautiful scenes. And linger on them. For too long. But when it comes to action sequences, he's almost apologetic. "Sorry we have to cut this panning landscape shot with some fighting and stuff but there'll be a lovely cross fade coming up soon."

At one point Bond gives chase in an aeroplane. An aeroplane that appears from nowhere! If there was a cut scene in which he knocks out a pilot and takes the plane, then it shouldn't have been cut. It makes no sense.

And then there's the script. It's a cliche to say it's cliched but it's cliched. And making the same 'joke' more than once, doesn't make it twice as funny.

And we know Bond can't die, but giving EVERY henchman the inability to shoot straight does become irritating.

There are more locations than Skyfall, yet it's still a postcard from London. And there are some scenes so similar to those in both Skyfall and Quantum of Solace you start to wonder if this is simply the Daniel Craig Box Set.

I don't want to give away spoilers, but if you don't guess who the 'baddy' is within the first 20 minutes you're probably watching the wrong film.

At one point, the villain tells Bond that the elaborate torture he is about to carry out will take away his memories. He then carries out the torture - with no effect. Yet this is never mentioned! That torture machine must have cost a fortune, I hope he kept the receipt.

And Bond isn't Superman, yet he manages to punch through walls (albeit thin ones) and break handcuffs! Come on, let's not be silly.

But, and this is going to sound ridiculous, after all this, I still enjoyed it and I did manage to suspend disbelief at times. I would have just preferred a little more light and shade and perhaps a few more Bond 'fun' weapons - if you like, more in-SPECTRE gadgets. But as an obvious swan song for Daniel Craig it does just about work.

I am of course already looking forward to the next one. I just hope that the new Bond doesn't take everything so seriously. After all, if being a licensed killer for the British Secret Service isn't a fun job then I don't know what is.