I used to be fat. Over 6 stone heavier, in fact. This was mostly due to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, but then nobody cares WHY you're fat; they just see the large person stood in front of them and make their assumptions and judgements.
I was never happy being larger, since I'd always been a size 10-12 in the past. I lost interest in myself, I didn't see the point of trying too hard to find lots of nice clothes, since I felt horrific in anything I put on. I avoided cameras like a professional (hence why I've found it so difficult to find images of me whilst I was so heavy), and looking back at images from events and nights out I'd been to/on, it was like I barely existed at all.
At my heaviest, I weighed 15 stone 2, possibly a couple of lbs more as I stopped weighing myself, you see. I think I must have been a size 20-22 (I was in denial about what my actual size was most of the time), and I was miserable. Thankfully I started losing the weight when I started taking my PCOS medication about 3 years ago, and lost 2 stone fairly quickly (well in the space of about a year and half) and a further 1 stone over the following year and a half; and the rest of the weight was coming off slowly but surely.
However, this year, the rest of the weight literally just dropped off me, kick started by the heartbreak diet after my fiancé of almost a decade had an affair and left in March, but continued (I think) by my active weekends in clubs, dancing off the flab. I now weigh between 9 stone and 9 stone 2lbs, depending on what time of day I weigh myself, and my only aim now is just to tone up any areas that need it.
Anyway, I was asked quite a few times by people to put up before and after images, but I was in 2 minds about whether to do so or not because I felt so hideous about myself in the before images. However, I then thought 'why not?', because I've actually achieved something pretty decent, and should be proud of this, rather than embarrassed about what I used to look like.
So, this is a huge amount of images, (apologies for this - as I've basically used as many of my fat photographs as I could, and tried to find as many recent images as possible to contrast with them) made into collages, to show you what I looked like previously, and more recently throughout this year. All the images without dates/years over them (my slimmer images) are from May this year onwards.
Even dresses that I squeezed into when I was larger, but not at my largest, I was able to wear (just about) when I slimmed down, and I can't believe the massive difference in just a few dress sizes, as you can see in the 2 images above.
I obviously wouldn't recommend the heartbreak diet, but this wasn't a decision I made, it just happened; and I fully believe it shocked my body into dropping weight quicker than it had been on my medication alone. As mentioned above, I still want, and need to tone up, because after an almost 6 stone weight loss there is lose skin and still a small layer of fat but this is something I will be working on from now, until I achieve my goal.
I didn't even realise the difference, until I had to convince friends that I did actually weigh so much more in the past, by showing them my before pictures. Madness.
I still see myself as the larger girl for the most part, and when I buy my sized clothing, I look at it when it arrives and think 'I'm never going to fit into that'... but then I do, and I honestly can never believe it. This was especially the case with the 'Letto' dress above, by Forever Unique at Chic Boutique, which I've just noticed has been reduced in the sale from £110 to a rather bargainous £55, and well worth every penny (even at the full price) as the dress is gorgeous and I always receive tonnes of compliments when I wear it - a full review on this is coming soon over at The Beauty Scoop!
Have you lost weight yourself? Have you ever experienced this 'fat girl mentality' after weight loss? Do you want to lose weight? Tell me your stories. x