I began the blog called a modern military mother originally for women like myself, who are married to the military and often are raising their kids alone - married, single, celibate. For the first three years of my son's life my husband was at home for, at the most, six months a year. It was hard for my son and my husband, as they were so disconnected from each other and our lives were so fragmented. The constant re-integration was challenging.
The idea for the blog came when I was sat on a train to London. I had got up at 7am, dressed the kids, given them their breakfast, dropped my 20-month old daughter at nursery, dropped my son at school. I drove from Dorset to Reading, parked at the station, caught a train. My journey was interrupted because there was a fatality, and we were then sent back to Reading, where I had to get on another train to Waterloo. As I was waiting on the train, it slowly filled up to the gunwhales. Another milly wife walked past the train window. Her journey impacted by the same event. She is based in Oxfordshire and is an oncologist trying to get the Nobel Peace Prize by finding a cure for cancer. We spoke on the phone. Her husband is deployed. She had an incredibly important presentation to give in London. Her son was in childcare in Oxford and she had no back-up to collect him.
It was during this conversation I began to draft a blog. I called it a modern military mother not because I am the mother of someone who is serving, but because I am mother whose parenting choices are continually impacted by my decision to marry someone in the military. In this respect I see myself as modern military mother.
It was the beginning of a story a modern military spouse, who is a mother to her children.
I do have a very good friend of mine who has a son who is serving and I feel her aching when he is deployed. I think it is harder for the mothers of soldiers then it is for the wives. The love I feel for my children is unconditional. The modern military mothers whose children serve endure the agony and the ecstacy of parenting more than most. I have nothing but the upmost respect and admiration for them.
We are separated now but little has changed. He was never here anyway and my parenting choices are still impacted. There is more....